32 Things I Learned From Week 1

I've been trying to reconcile how abysmal my picks and predix were last week with my desire to continue doing this. I enjoy being wrong. A strange habit, I know. Being wrong gives us an opportunity to learn new things.

Now, rather than doing a What I Was Wrong About listicle, I decided to try to frame last week's games from the position of What I Learned from each of them.

Here is that attempt.

The Cowboys defense is way better than I expected. If I thought that Week 1 was the wrong time to experiment with what to do with your surplus of linebackers, I thought like an idiot. The defense played valiantly. Did not see that coming. This feels like the first of many times the offense lets the defense down in Dallas losses.

Tom Brady still has his arm strength. Also, there are other players on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

The Bills' passing attack is vulnerable. Whether because Josh Allen is going to regress back to the mean or what, it is possible to design a defensive gameplan that can stop Buffalo. The question moving forward becomes whether it is Pittsburgh-specific, this vulnerability, or whether the rest of the NFL can replicate it.

The Steelers might have just enough offense to ride the defense to a Playoff spot. Big Ben looks old. He doesn't look as old as he did last year, maybe, but vacation time will do that for you. They say he's in “the best shape of his life.” I hate to think it, but this team feels like one or two injuries away from irrelevance. Who is the Dave Dameshek Jenga Piece? I do think TJ Watt's production is repeatable. How are the Bosas doing, while I'm thinking about it?

The Chargers' Joey Bosa got a sack. Turns out at least one of the Bosa brothers is still alive. What's the other one's name? Timmy? Who remembers these things. The Chargers are still very much wait and see for me. I expected them to put up more points, but the Football Team has a good defense.

The Washington Football Team are going to be just fine without Ryan Fitzpatrick. Did I learn this, or is this just what I took away from that game? I think Gregg Rosenthal is right when he says Taylor Heinicke is a younger version of Fitzpatrick. This team's trajectory hasn't changed – yet.

The Seahawks are having fun again. But it's September. That's when this team is usually having fun. By October things are usually looking ugly. Let's see how long Pete Carroll is laughing about the whole Let Russ Cook thing.

The Colts defense isn't as good as I expected it to be. Or is that an artifact of the Seahawks rushing attack being better than I expected? Dunno. But Seattle made 28 points look like more than enough.

The Eagles don't look like a team who are going to let their coach organize the deck chairs on the Titanic. Philly seemed primed to be that team that gives up on their organization, in the summer. So far, so not that at all. Hopefully they can keep up the momentum – I actually kinda have a soft spot in my heart for the Eagles. Thanks, Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb.

The Falcons are missing more pieces than a Tight End can fix. That should probably have been obvious, considering the salary cap woes. But the Saints figured out how to field a roster of professionals. Does that mean Arthur Smith is in over his head? Are there too many Arthurs in Atlanta? Can there be only one?

The Cardinals have a defense? Is that what I learned? I learned that Chandler Jones is a man who feasts when it's there in front of him. Can he do it for 17 games? Cus that's why he's not still in New England. If the Cardinals legitimately have a defense, it might not matter how good Kingsbury is. Murray will get enough opportunities and make enough wow plays to keep him employed long after his best-by date.

The Titans are the 2012-2018 Dolphins. You live and die by your quarterback. And Tannehill lives and dies by the pass rush. But really what I mean by this is that they only play complimentary football when things are working. The defense has to play better than that when the offense is getting killed.

Trevor Lawrence isn't enough to save this Jaguars team. Not by a long shot. I always want to root against number one overall picks – except the ones in Cleveland, chill out. So this is my bias speaking, but those picks were ugly. This isn't college anymore, kiddo.

The Houston Texans aren't going to just tank this season. If there were a team I think everyone in the universe would understand tanking, it's the Houston Texans. Ain't nobody on that roster getting paid enough to put their body on the line and— Oh, wait. They won that game. Also – Tyrod Taylor looked as good in a Texans uniform as Deshaun Watson ever has. Maybe Bill O'Brien was onto something.

The Minnesota Vikings don't want to win games anymore than they want to protect themselves and their communities from COVID.

The Cincinnati Bengals are still going to be a hard watch. And Joe Burrow is going to get a lot of cred and maybe-undeserved, definitely over-effusive praise. It took them the full Overtime period to beat a time that refused to win.

The 49ers have this player named Deebo Samuel. And he is a freak.

The Detroit Lions are going to do a lot of falling down and getting back up again. Kneecaps notwithstanding, they won't be as fun to watch as Chumbawumba's music videos.

The Jets are still the Jets. Robert Salah isn't a panacea. This is going to take a few years.

The Panthers are going to bum me out. This is a team I'd like to root for, but they're in the NFC South. There's no way they don't get swept by the Buccs – and probably the Saints.

Teddy Bridgewater is playing for the Bronocos like he thinks he's Allen Iverson. Actually, I don't know anything about basketball. I just mean to say that watching him play had me thinking of Bucky Brooks talking about QBs being like point guards, distributing the ball to their playmakers. Looked good. Hope he can do it for 17 games.

The Giants are going to be worse than I thought. And they were already pretty bad. Is this a Dave Gettleman situation, or was Daniel Jones just everybody's biggest wiff?

The Dolphins can close out a game with a lead. I really had to search my heart for this one. Even with the offense struggling to score, they were able to close out the lead when it mattered. I've watched too many Dolphins teams lose this game by not getting the first down to kill the clock.

Mac Jones is NFL ready and the Patriots are dangerous. Watch out! It's just Week 1, but Mac Jones looked good. He looked like he'd done it before. Impressive stuff. Would have been a good team win, regardless of who took that game.

The Browns aren't quite there yet. The pick to end the game was ugly. Mayfield got unlucky on the same pass that people are going to call Tua out for and that Brady attempted and got lucky on. Sometimes the chips just fall that way, sometimes it's indicative of where your team is at. I think the Browns loss is the latter.

The Chiefs really don't have that much improving to do. It's scary to think that. But this team, even when they're losing, never looks like they're losing. They look the same whether they're up 24 or down 24. It's wild. They're kind of like the American worldview in a nutshell: where the poor person in the US identifies as not rich yet, the Chiefs are just not winning yet.

The Packers defense isn't going to do much bailing-out of the offense. I'm not even sure that's what I learned about this team. They should just throw the whole game out and start fresh.

The Saints are extremely well coached. The story all week has been Jameis. And it should be. But Sean Payton put him in position to do the things he did this weekend. More than that, he wanted Winston when no one else did. He mentored him, stuck him behind Drew Brees. There's something to be said for experience. And who has more experience under extreme diversity than Sean Payton? That said, I'm watching you, Winston. No more funny business with women. I don't care what you do with crablegs.

Matt Nagy isn't going to survive the season with his job intact. If he watched the same game I did and doesn't know that Justin Fields is his quarterback, then there's no hope for him. Maybe he's trying to keep the kid alive through the first four weeks. Maybe he's an idiot. Only time will tell.

The Rams are so good they're boring. I keep thinking about how I can barely remember this game. I wasn't having that good a time, if you know what I mean. I think it's because for everything the Bears threw at them, and as well as David Montgomery played, at the end of the day, Matthew Stafford made it look too easy to score. Things could get freaky if teams want to race McVay to 70 points.

The Ravens are too dependent on Lamar Jackson. You could say this is obvious. But what I saw when I watched that game on Monday night was a team that lives and dies by whether he is playing well. I know I said earlier in this very piece that teams live and die by their quarterbacks, but I don't know. This isn't what you see with teams like Tannehill and Cousins. This is something deeper, something that feels - not toxic, but - codependent. Like the team don't want to accidentally outshine Jackson. Which.... Somebody else has to make a play on this team eventually, or they can forget the Playoffs.

Derek Carr has some serious moxxy. He's a very limited player. But he has moxxy. Those throws with 37 seconds left in the game were serious fireballs into tight windows. I'd like to see him throw to someone other than Darren Waller, though.

Alright! That's it.

Can't wait for Thursday. In the meantime, I'll do a write-up of that game, and keep an eye out for me to get a burr in my ass about something and need to ramble a long-form about it. I've been thinking a lot about Drew Brees as a comp for Tua. And not just because of the size. We'll see how that comes out. Anyway, thanks again!