Post-TNF, Week 1 - Dallas at Tampa Bay

 

WHAT A GREAT GAME, AMIRIGHT?

Wait a minute. What is this, a Conservative newsletter? We're not doing all-caps.

I am very excited, though.

The opening game is always exciting. But it also always feels like a let-down of a game. And boy oh boy did I think this was going to be a let down. I could not have been more wrong! I am still running on a high from last night. Or maybe that's the Taco Bell. Only time will tell.

I have to be careful, moving forward. There could be way too many exclamation points ahead.

I'm not going to recap the game. If you're here, you've probably watched it. And by the time I post this, it will be after-noon (on the East Coast, at least), so you'll very likely have already read all the day's recaps. Instead, I'm going to do that thing I do and focus on some things I don't think anyone else is.

-The Cowboys And Fans Should Be Encouraged By Dak's 400-yard Night

Hold up – wait a second. Just... wait a second. How many games did Dak play last year? 5, as it turns out. In 5 games, he threw for 1856 yards, (that's a lot of yards in 5 games), for an average of *drum roll* 371.2. 371.2 is almost 400 yards. If memory serves, he had more than a couple 400-yard performances last year. Wasn't the game he went down in a 400-yard game? Didn't he have a 500-yarder at one point last year and we were all, “All right, Mike McCarthy!”?

I'm fully willing to admit I largely ignore this Dallas team. So once Dak went down, I was happy to watch nary another second of their on-field play. But I feel like I remember people stroking themselves raw that Dak was going to break the 5000-yard season barrier before he went down.

Anyway, my point isn't to harsh on the Dak-threw-for-400 parade. And it isn't – here/yet – to dump on Zeke.

What is it, then? This is the Dallas Cowboys and their head coach is Mike McCarthy. The same coach who was run out of Green Bay for forgetting to use his runner to spell his thrower – and, you know, otherwise control the game, the clock, the pace, the defense, etc.

And while I'm on that—

Dallas's Offensive Line Played Well

Before you get started, just don't. They played very well, actually.

The Buccaneers are going to get a lot of love for their front-seven this season. And well they should. I know that the Dallas fans out there and the confused among you are going to think of that Vita Vea play, the lone sack of the night, and you're going to remember Dallas as being dominated up front. You're going to remember a fourth-quarter drive that kind of gasped to a stall at the end because of the pass rush.

And that's fine. Those things happened.

But by that point, the offensive line was completely gassed.

Believe it or not, I played line as a kid. I found pass protection way more difficult and tiresome than run blocking. Run blocking is what you want to do as an o-lineman. Run blocking is pushing a man in a direction he doesn't want to go. In other words, it's what your muscles want to be doing. Your first step is forward. You can use your momentum to your advantage. In pass pro, your first step is backward. And usually straight up. That's how guys like Vita Vea get under the shoulderpads and leverage of guys and blow them into the backfield on pass-pro downs.

The defender has all of the advantages I just listed above, now. You sacrifice nearly everything. If you're tired, if you get out of your stance just a heartbeat too slow – if the guy across from you is just a little fresher than you in the fourth quarter because they get to rotate and you've been stepping backward 45/60 plays....

Well, you saw what happens.

You see it every year. I mean, Tampa Bay didn't exactly play nice with Kansas City in the last last game we watched.

Is It Zeke – or McCarthy?

Get me wrong – I don't like Zeke Elliot. I don't like him as a person, I don't like him as a man, I don't like him as a professional, and I don't like him as an athlete. His whole demeanor gets under my skin. And then he punched a woman.

At least since then his on-field performance has taken a steady decline, if not his paycheck or on-screen time. If only the world were a Just place – we'd never have to talk or hear about people like Zeke Elliott and Deshaun Watson ever again.

But I digress.

I posed the question for Matt Bowen on Twitter last night whether Zeke's issues were with Zeke or the D. His answer was basically a combination of gameplan and good defense. Brian Baldinger was asking whether Dallas should try to get Zeke going, and I asked whether Zeke could get going. I got no traction.

I don't think Dallas fans – including Jerry Jones – are ready to admit that Zeke is a hair model, not an NFL running back. Sorry. He's just not. That fullback dive play, with him and Pollard both in the backfield, that looked good. But he didn't look able to get around the corner.

Zeke looks small. I've read articles about how he's tried to slim down and get stronger, lither. But that's not Zeke's game. That's never been Zeke's game. His game is that burst of speed and the lowering of the shoulder, hammering through guys.

He was useless in pass pro last night. Chris Collinsworth tried to give him some credit for sticking his nose in the hole and making contact, but.... I don't know. I've been slobberknockered by a running back in a hole on the way to the quarterback. The defenders Zeke met went through him. Sometimes to dramatic and hilarious effect. There will be GIFs. No made by me, but they will emerge.

Now, useless seems like a strong word, right?

Really what you want from your RB is to do what Collinsworth said: meet the last free rusher in the hole and slow them down. You want them to blow the rusher up and make them think twice about trying to come after your guy. But you'll take a half-second slowdown so your guy can release the ball or move out of the damn way.

Zeke kept getting himself shoved into passing lanes.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I don't know what I'm seeing. But I kept seeing Dak have to move around Zeke to hurry-up his throws. Zak and Deke @_@ Whooof. Don't have mild dyslexia – or whatever it is where my brain will replace letter for my eyes – and talk about those guys.

And take my bias for what it is.

Scoring In The NFL Is Still At A Premium

I'm probably using that aphorism incorrectly. I only sold Life Insurance for a day.

Too inethical.

But I digress. I thought this game was going to be all offense. All gas, as it were, in a boat race. Is that what they call it in boat racing when you open the throttle all the way out? I have very few interests, but love aphorisms, and boy is sports full of aphorisms I have heard and don't know how to use properly.

Anyway.

Those points Greg “The Leg” Zeurlein left on the field were devastating, weren't they? A missed field goal and extra point in a 2-point contest. Ouchers.

Dallas fans can take solace in knowing that Big D's D wasn't going to keep Brady out of the endzone on that last drive. So what was a 2-point game would have been a 6-point game – in other words, even if Dallas adds those 4 points, they're still down two.

Hurts, though.

I think the takeaway – in fact, the takeaway writ large – from this game is that field goals don't cut it. They haven't for a while – but when you're throwing for 400 yards and only scoring field goals, the opposing defense is controlling the game. Which the game showed us.

Holy Shit Dallas's Defense

That actually isn't another topic. It should be. But it needs to be said here, so – I guess I could have said something like, Interrupting this regular broadcast to reiterate... but I didn't. Seriously, though. Dallas's D showed up to play. But that seems to be the move against Brady, right? You show up to play your best against the very best, because even then he's going to make you look like an asshole.

Repeatedly.

And he did.

But let's not take away the experience and savvy that were Gronk's touchdown and catches on that final drive – his will to get out of bounds when that defender was attacking his knees with his whole body. And Antonio Brown showing up big, especially in the first half. And, hell, even Mike Evans showed an effort play! We might not see another of those all regular season.

I don't like that guy's on-field presence. But that's fine. He's not on my team – or even a team I'm interested in.

I've strayed wildly off topic.

TDs Matter, People!

Probably should have gone with that to begin with.

What's that old song? “That's the way it is / Some things will never change”? You gotta score TDs. Dallas looked so good between the 20s. Their defense forced two three and outs. They were playing killer ball. But then the offense couldn't get it done. And that's what killed them, ultimately.

I'll talk more about this when I do my breakdown of Chicago's game, but the way it used to work, you expected your defense to hold the opponent to 20 points. If you could score 21 points a week, you were golden. You'd lose some 50/50s, but you'd win enough to make the Playoffs. And if you're in 50/50s in the Playoffs, you've got a 50/50 shot at the Super Bowl, right?

Things are different now.

Not only has that point maximum risen to about 30 points, the onus has switched. When you're talking about 20 points, you're talking four scores: two TDs, and two FGs. You're planning on about eight drives, so that works out about right. You figure as Head Coach that you can score 21 by the start of the third quarter.

Now, however, most teams aren't looking to keep scores low. Most teams want to pile a lead on their opponent, force them to pass, and then throw blitzers at their quarterback to force turnovers. It's exciting football for the fans, and it works from a week-to-week gameplan. Why are the Rams so relevant every week, year in and year out?

I need to work toward wrapping this up. I have other shit to do today. You too, probably.

Quick-hitters:

-Tampa's Special Teams are legit. Kicker – check. Punter – double check. They've even got a dynamic return game.

-Tampa Bay is going to be so good this season. It's kind of sickening, but it's also kind of great. The NFC needs a true powerhouse. It's just too bad it had to be Tom Brady.

-Gronk looks like they're doing movie magic to make him look so much bigger than everyone else. It's truly freakish. Takes me aback every time I see him. Glad for the chance to do it for another season.

-I may have been too critical of Dallas. They might be a legit contender this year. Regardless, I'm actually more than kind of interested to watch them play.

-Here's to 2021 football!