The Rest of Week 1 - The Games I Didn't Watch - and Monday Night Football

 

Green Bay Packers vs New Orleans Saints

Watching what I can watch of this game, and having listened to many of the same people you will have—

The Saints whipped on the Packers like Green Bay is a bottom-ten team. Let's look at their stat line.

The first thing that jumps out to me is that Taysom “Steve Young” Hill only seems to have 3 touches. 2 rushing attempts and a completed pass. When you see that Jameis Winston threw for five TDs on only 14 completions and 148 yards on 20 attempts, you assume it was a big running day. And when you assume a big running day in New Orleans, you assume Taysom Hill.

You'd assume wrongly, apparenly. Winston even had 6 rushing carries for 37 yards.

But the story of the game appears to be in Alvin Kamara's 20 carries for 83 yards.

I was of the opinion that Green Bay's defense was going to improve. Golly jee, I just could not have been more wrong about this game and this Green Bay team. But, in Aaron Rodgers's own words: R-E-L-A-X. This used to happen every year with Peyton Manning's Indianapolis Colts. The starters, especially Manning, wouldn't play in the Preseason, and they'd come out every year in September and work the kinks out. You'd have liked the Green Bay offense to not look so smacked in the mouth – but the Saints had a lot to play for.

I'm glad New Orleans got the win.

Philadelphia Eagles vs Atlanta Falcons

It seems like this was a really good game. The first half of the first half looked tight. Eagles' defense playing their faces off, and Jaylen Hurts looking like a professional quarterback. Is Cordarell Patterson a halfback in the Falcons' offense?

I think maybe the whole football world underestimated Hurts's athelticism. Some of the blitzes he's evading in the highlights I'm watching are nutty. That drive to end the first half was a killer, too.

This Eagles team looks like the Ravens. Because they're both bird teams?

Yes. That's why.

But also because they are finding a ton of success on the round and in the short passing game. And I love how both teams are using their big-bodied receivers in place of traditional powerbacks because they don't have one!

Seems like the Falcons just couldn't overcome a bad penalty and bad punt in the third quarter. They got in pass-first mode and the Philly defense did what it needed to while the offense kept getting first downs.

These are the kinds of games GamePass was made for.

Is this going to be a pattern going forward for both teams?

Los Angeles Chargers vs Washington Football Team

I'm glad Austin Ekeler was able to play this game. Thought I read reports he'd be out.

Fitzmagick throwing balls into “dangerous windows” to start the game. Haha I shouldn't laugh. I know he goes out after only six attempts. But, sheesh. In three drives so far I've seen two near-picks and a near-fumble.

Ekeler making huge impacts in pass pro. Straight blowing dudes up. Something I criticized Zeke for being unable to do.

Nick Shook described the middle of this game as the Chargers' receivers forgetting how to catch the ball. And he was absolutely not kidding. Herbert had a much better day than his box score will show, that's obviously even from highlights and recaps.

What if Heinicke is the magic we actually needed all along? But, really, I like his athleticism, I like the way he throws the ball. I'd hate it, but what if Fitzpatrick is the Tyrod Taylor to Heinicke's Herbert?

Herbert throws an ugly pick in the fourth quarter. I like that he's grown his hair out again.

I feel like while I'm watching this and trying to evaluate Herbert like I'm supposed to do it in comparison with Tua. That feels silly.

Seattle Seahawks vs Indianapolis Colts

I feel like I accurately predicted this one. (Can you believe it, I actually haven't checked my predictions for accuracy. Lol) But I have heard that Wilson didn't have a huge statistical day – so maybe the coaching staff and he are on the same page as far as how wins should go.

Indy's defense is a leaky sieve against the run in the first half. And wow, those TDs to Lockett in the first half are stunners. There's talk about Tyler Lockett every year, vis-a-vis his rating – is it under, over, just right. I think it's just right – but he does make a splash play ever week, it seems like. I really expected Indy's D to look better than this. Did I miss something? Are there huge injuries?

At least Wentz doesn't look like he did last year, not through the first half, anyway.

So what happened to the Colts' offense in the first half after the 10-point mark? Two drives that ended ugly – at least one ugly sack by Wentz. How many times did he put the ball on the ground in this game? Is it just me, or does he looks like he's putting every single ounce of everything he has into every single throw? Wentz makes 10-yard throws seem so hard. He used to be absolutely gangbusters on third and fourth downs. Now he's a sack waiting to happen. What happened? Was it just the ACLs?

I was just about to say that at least the Indy D didn't let DK Metcalf score. I almost wrote too soon.

This is another game that just seems to have gotten away from the loser. The defense kept them in it through the middle quarters of the game. Is it Wentz? A lack of running game? I don't know. This is one I'd have to watch a couple times, probably.

San Francisco 49ers vs Detroit Lions

Stumbling on 4th and 1 and not even making it back to the line of scrimmage is kind of the Lions' way, isn't it?

Jimmy Garopolo fumbling the first snap of the season is kind of his way, isn't it?

Oh, no. missing the field goal after the fumble recovery. I love that Mohammed Sanu is still a big part of Kyle Shanahan's life and offense.

Do the Lions have a running game? Looks like they might in the first quarter. Goff just looks uncomfortable at all times.

Lots of arm tackles from Detroit's D. I've been looking for a place to muse about this, so here goes: In the preseason, it's pretty normal for defenses to have a head start as far as looking “good”. But then by the time the games get started, the offenses are usually ahead. Basically I mean there are a lot of points through the first eight weeks, then they slow down pretty significantly. This is usually attributed to defenses not being physical enough in practices, particularly in the preseason.

Is it because defenders are used to the play ending at any contact whatever? Not sure. Now back to the game.

Detroit is totally competitive in the first half. Missed opportunities with their first two drives. But they're in this.

The 49ers have so many options in the running/short passing game. It's nutty.

There we go. I wanted to know what happened, where the mountain of points Detroit found themselves under by halftime came from. A pick-six, that's where. Jared Goff gonna do Jared Goff things.

While his name is under my fingertips – I called him terrible his rookie season. Said he had a terrible season. And I've said he's terrible every year since then. And I heard today that after the Rams' win, Sean McVay said that he was looking for a partner, not a student??? Ouch. That's like telling your girlfriend you're looking for a partner not a friend. Damn. Things did not end well there.

But Anyway. Why is this the game that's distracting me? Because there are football things to talk about here that just weren't relevant in the other games? MOVING ON!

Goff dropping back into sacks. San Fran has a good pass rush, but damn, dude.

Is Debo Samuel another of these hybrid runners/receivers? I don't know, but that touchdown catch was the same move that Tyreek Hill put on the Browns defender. Only Debo Samuel is about twice the size of Hill. I'm going to have to watch more San Fran. Robbie Gould is gold. Then he misses one.

Jacquiski Tartt tried to fuckin murder Tyrell Williams. Is that on Goff for putting the ball there?

I do love that the Lions don't give up on this game. Not the offense, and not the defense. Goff giving up on plays, however, I hate.

Tj Hockenson is a real weapon. Glad he's healthy.

Am I reading too much into Jimmy G letting the Lions back in this game? Yes. Because they were down 24 points with 3 minutes left in the game.

George Kittle of all people muffed the onside kick. Wow.

So should the Lions just kick it onside every time? Just pretend they're down 30 every drive? Cus Goff looked good after the game was over. The Lions D, too. What the heck do you do with this game if you're Motor City Dan Campbell?

I have no idea. But they're going to win more than zero games. They have to.

Buffalo Bills vs Pittsburgh Steelers

You really can't take anything from opening kickoff returns, can you? How many Dolphins games have I watched start like Buffalo's day did, over the years? Ginn or Landry or Grant or whoever would get a good opening return, then one of the Chads or Tannehill comes out, goes three-and-out, you kick a field goal, and that's what the rest of the day is going to look like. Jeez, who'd'a thunk something like that could happen to Josh Allen?

I have seen next to none of this game. I listened to the first half on the radio, but seeing it is a very different experience. This is already a Mike Tomlin defensive wet dream by the time Josh Allen misses the shot to Sanders with 5+ left in the first. Four-man rush and Tampa-2 on the back end, and make quarterbacks think. It's clearly working on Allen and his receivers. Drops, misses, batted passes. Ugly first quarter for Buffalo.

Those safeties are absolutely not letting Stephon Diggs get deep.

For people who expected the Buffalo defense to improve, I'm not sure this is the game to measure with, but it seems there's improvement by the start of the second half. The Pittsburgh pass rush is the story of this game, though. I can already tell. Already know.

I love how this offense, too, uses its big wide-outs as weapons in the ground game. So smart.

Allen clearly does not like what he is seeing from the defense. He takes off and runs way too soon.

Did Najee Harris look good? He doesn't jump out much in the highlights (the drop was not his fault).

Buffalo's offense looks like they expected to walk into Pittsburgh and just win. By the blocked punt, this is Steelers football. We haven't seen this in what feels like half a decade. Watch out, AFC North. This fourth quarter drive, down 10, Buffalo look almost surprised by the Pittsburgh defense. It's like they aren't able to figure out what is being done to them real-time, which isn't something I've seen from the Steelers in... well, I said it, didn't I? What feels like half a decade. This is excellent stuff.

Tennessee Titans vs Arizona Cardinals

I don't even need to watch the Arizona game to tell you the story of what happened. I tweeted it.

The Tennessee Titans had a Ryan Tannehill kind of afternoon. Sacks and three-and-outs. The kind of games he had for five seasons (or whatever it ended up being) in Miami. Breaks my heart for Titans fans. Breaks my heart for Tannehill, a little bit. But! He does have a(nother) new offensive coordinator, and his teammates did not help him. Am I the only Dolphins fan who roots for the Titans?

I couldn't have been more wrong vis-a-vis AJ Green < Julio Jones, could I? It's like somehow AJ Green was among the 9 people who read that post and he wanted to make me personally look like an asshole to the other 8 of you. How cool would that be, actually? Hi, AJ! Loved your work in Cincy.

I am going to watch the highlights, though.

Okay, so I've done sort of a hit-for-hit for the other games, sharing my momentary notes based off what's already in my head from earlier study. This one I've watched the whole recap first.

I'll just say this: It's not called the blindside for nothing. Tannehill's tackles got him murdered by Chandler Jones. Tannehill had a Tannehill day. But that also means he scored with his legs at a crucial moment in the game. And a killer interception at another.

This game wasn't as bad as it could have been. Tennessee were still in it, down 18 in the third quarter – and then they turned it over again. And then they weren't anymore. It's hard to watch good defenses get beaten by this many points.

DeAndre Hopkins (is his nickname “Nuke” or something?) has not lost a step.

Kyler Murray is so small – and is unbelievable when he's scrambling. I love the thing he does where he holds the ball up as he's crossing the goalline. And then there's the ill-advised interception.

I don't know if there's a real takeaway to have for the Cardinals. Their defense beat up the Titans' offense so bad, it's actually kind of problematic – if the Titans defense didn't do what it did, this game should have been worse. Really, the Cardinals probably left double their points on the field. So, do I still have questions about Kingsbury? Yes. Do I still have questions about Murray? I don't know. I'd need to actually watch him. Do the Cardinals have a ground game, or is every scoring drive miracle plays?

Jacksonville Jaguars vs Houston Texans

Well, alright, then. Statement game? Yes. That statement? The Houston Texans are not going winless.

Ah. I'm funny.

These are the first passes I'm watching Joey Lawrence throw. Sorry. I know it's Trevor. It's just also – Woah! - and the hair.

Okay. I have to ask: did the Jacksonville Jaguars forget to field a defense? See, you want to watch the Houston offense and say to yourself, Yup. This is the impact of veteran players on a franchise adrift in space. But... is it? Tyrod Tailor, Danny Amendola? These are not verteran players that guide the course of a wayward franchise.

The first two Jacksonville scoring drives look effortless. By the third drive, Jacksonville seems to wake up.

I say that, then Tyrod is trying laterals in the red zone and airing it out in the two-minute... and maybe I'm dead-ass wrong. Maybe the first thing you see is what you see sometimes.

The Lawrence picks are ugly.

27 points by the third quarter is exactly how an offensive coordinator scripts a game. What is going on with Jacksonville's defense? It's not even poor field position!

Let's pivot. Because this Houston team looks better than “just beating up on the Jags”. This looks like a team that could be flirting with .500 come January. This team is going to steal a couple games in-division and threaten the Playoffs if they play like this ever week.

I'm getting 2008 Dolphins vibes.

And if the Jags play this badly and look this bored every week, get ready to pick first next year, too.

Carolina Panthers vs New York Jets

I think this is my favorite game of the week.

Now, I hate the Jets.

But I'm so happy for Darnold. And, no lesser a story, Robbie Anderson. The jet celebration was awesome. I feel like today was a victory for every player discarded from the Jets over the course of the last five years or so.

How different is this game if Zach Wilson's almost plays weren't almost? That's a very good sign for a rookie coach/QB combo. Corey Davis is no joke in New York's offense. Wilson with an ugly pick, too. Rookies gonna throw ugly picks. Kid's got a scary arm though.

They're going to have to figure out how to not have free rushers behind Wilson when he finishes his drops.

McCaffrey is a technician. Haven't gotten to watch him play nearly enough the last two years. This offense uses DJ Moore in the ground game. Love it.

Denver Broncos vs New York Giants

I should have more to say about this game. But, really? I forgot even write about it. I guess I was just so happy for Brandon Perna that his Broncos looked so good, I left the effluvium about the game for him, something of an amateur courtesy. Actually, I totally forgot about both teams.

Teddy Two-gloves looked good. He looked more than just like Ryan Tannehill Lite – he looked like his own player, and a good one. Elusive enough, aggressive enough. And the Giants didn't have a bad defense last year.

The Giants, though.... What more is there to say besides what everyone else is already saying about them? Daniel Jones is good until he's not. And when he's not, he's really not. But Kenny Golladay warned us, didn't he?

Baltimore Ravens vs Las Vegas Raiders

What a game! I did not expect that. But maybe I should have. The Raiders looked like a really good team through eight weeks last year.

I actually took notes. Let's see if I noticed anything you won't find everywhere you've already visited.

Carr and Jackson were both really streaky. At different points, each had missed five-plus throws in a row, and later each had completed five-plus throws. Darren Waller seems to be the only thing stopping Darren Waller on any given play. He makes more mental errors than the defense gets stops against him.

The Ravens have absolutely no sense of urgency inside 2 minutes. Neither 2-minute drill looked good. The Raiders, on the other hand—

Sammy Watkins flashes sometimes like a number 1, and sometimes disappears. But that's a number one's job, right?

By the second half of this game, I wrote this: Lamar Jackson feels like he's holding the offense back. And ever time I think that, he starts running, and there's just nothing anyone can do. Nothing anyone could do until those last two Ravens possessions, that is. The Raiders defense bottled Jackson up admirably in the Overtime period.

Baltimore played the second half like they thought the game was already out of reach. And it bit them in the ass. Then, in Overtime, they just conceded defeat on a TD every single one of them should have known would be reviewed – and probably overturned. When the play was overturned, you could tell that both teams were discombobulated emotionally at coming back and playing.

Lamar Jackson's fumbles were devastating. He holds the ball like a loaf of bread – eventually defenders are going to stop attacking his body and start targeting the ball – like Nassib did on the fumble in OT.

They said multiple times during the broadcast that Gruden made it a point of emphasis to be better on the ground in the redzone. The one Josh Jacobs TD down there was a thing of beauty. Not sure they think Drake offered much in that part of the field. It is nice to watch Drake still playing and still impacting the game with his speed.

This is the first Gruden-Raiders game I've watched – not that I've watched a ton, but he gets TV time – where I thought Gruden looked like the better coach.

I have very few rules, as far as what I want from the teams I root for. Playing for field goals at the end of games instead of TDs or wins is unacceptable. When Harbaugh basically gave up on the game, doing nothing with second and short to eventually set up the field goal with :37 on the clock, I gave him the kibosh. You don't deserve to win if you aren't trying to win.

Gruden attacked the overtime and the three-minute periods with the urgency they deserve, and he won. Really, he won that game twice. And good for him. I loved the throw to end the game. Kicking the field goal on second down felt like the bitch move. Win the game. So they did. Good shit.

Damn, that's really all of them, isn't it?

And only five manuscript pages before I start fucking with fonts. Cool!

Hey – really – thanks for stopping by. This was a ton of fun. I'd love to know what you disagree with. I'm sure I'll find things to write about on Tuesday and Wednesday, to get us to Thursday. Hope your team won, or at least that you enjoyed the weekend as much as I did. See you next time!