Week 3 Tuesday Evening Hair of the Dog - Game Rewatch Rankings - and What I Got Wrong

 

I feel like I'm better – or that I did better this week – than I was last week, so I'm going to have to dig a little bit to find things I got wrong about the Week 3 slate of games. Being right only helps me when I'm gambling – which I'm not.

#16 Atlanta Falcons (1-2) @ New York Giants (0-3)

I was wrong when I said this game would be HOU/JAC, week 1. At least that game turned out to be fun. This game was not fun. I would rather watch Matty Ice's commercial than his play on the field.

What is really going on with New York? Saquon Barkley is a non-factor, and the offense sputters more and is easier to hate than the damn Buggy from Speed Buggy. I don't know, but I'm not looking forward to the stretch of Giants games we're inevitably going to get on Primetime.

#15 Miami Dolphins (1-2) @ Los Vegas Raiders (3-0)

I'm emotionally overreacting. And it's my party – I can emotionally overreact if I want. Also, all the games between Miami and the Falcons had more interesting things going on, to me. I should give the Raiders more respect than this, because I have a feeling that they are a for-real 3-0. But I'm not going to.

I was certainly wrong that the Raiders wouldn't be able to score on Miami. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough. Without the Elandon Roberts pick-six, this is a very different game. I was also wrong that Miami was going to play the entire day like they did the opening drives. I really hope I'm not dead wrong about the playcalling.

#14 Cincinnati Bengals (2-1) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2)

The sky's not falling, the sky's not falling, the sky's not falling.

If the Steelers, vaunted organization that they are, are 1-2, Miami's 1-2 isn't that bad. The Steelers might actually be, though. I can't disagree with Rich Eisen. Roethlisberger is washed. Is the Dwayne Haskins thing real? Are we going to get to see him this year? How many losses can Tomlin sustain where his defense does their job but the offense can't move the ball before he pulls the plug on the Big Ben Experience? John Fox yanked Peyton Manning. Is Mike Tomlin John Fox? Haskins can't be worse than Osweiler, can he?

The Bengals should be 3-0. I'm not ready to say I'm wrong about Zac Taylor as a head coach, but I am going to continue banging the Lou Anaroumo drum. This defense is legit. If Burrow can get enough time to do what they did to the Steelers, this could be a really fun division.

#13 Arizona Cardinals (3-0) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (0-3)

This game comes up from the 15 spot because Jacksonville was competitive for a minute. But I can't imagine you'd need more than highlights to enjoy the best this game has to offer. Unless you really enjoy Trevor Lawrence turnovers – the pick out of the Flea Flicker was his worst yet. You can't attempt that pass, Trevor! You just can't.

I'm still not sure I've learned anything about the Cardinals. They have a ton of weapons, the defense is good, but are they going to keep the winning going? Are they going to still be doing it come January? Those are the questions that are going to matter, and so far, I haven't watched enough of their games to guess.

#12 New York Jets (0-3) @ Denver Broncos (3-0)

I should have put money on this game. I feel like my blurb about this game is the best thing I've ever written. I got the score wrong, but only because I gave the Broncos too many points. Brandon Perna has backed off Teddy Two Tugs. I'm not sure I'm going to.

As for the Jets....

#11 Indianapolis Colts (0-3) @ Tennessee Titans (2-1)

The low games on the rankings didn't move much. Just enough to make some room for the real fallers.

I was wrong that Carson Wentz wouldn't finish this game healthy. Kudos to him. Hope the ankles are feeling okay. Cus they sure didn't help his team, Sunday.

There doesn't seem to be much to glean from the box score for this game. Tennessee seems to have suffered through another Ryan Tannehill day from their quarterback. His statline looks exactly like you'd expect. 18 completions on 27 attempts, 3 TDs, 2 INTs, and fewer than 200 yards passing. I think the good news for Tennessee is that they're learning to win when he plays like he plays from time to time.

#10 Baltimore Ravens (2-1) @ Detroit Lions (0-3)

This game is a Classic in the sense Mark Twain meant when he wrote, “A classic is a book everyone wants to have read, but no one wants to read.” This game is best left to highlights and recaps, I think. I didn't watch it, and even though it's this high on my Rewatch Power Rankings, I wouldn't watch anything besides the Condensed. In part because I'm becoming a Ravens fan and this seems like the ugliest possible game they could have played, but also because I'm not a Lions fan.

At least I wasn't wrong that Dan Campbell won't win a game this year. Not yet, anyway!

#9 Philadelphia Eagles (1-2) @ Dallas Cowboys (2-1)

If you're a Cowboys fan, or, like me, wanted to watch their defense against a division rival, this was a great game for you. #7, Traevon Diggs, destroyed the Eagles last night. Honestly, I'm not sure how he didn't get several taunting penalties. He got right in Jaelen Hurts' face at one point.

But I've already written about how the Taunting penalty was going away.

The Eagles' Hurts had the same kind of game Justin Fields did.

Really, this game could be much higher. It could be up with or replaced by the Bears/Browns game. The difference, really, is that I watched the Bears/Browns game on Sunday. It's like watching all three John Wick movies in a row – they get tedious after a while.

One thing I was dead wrong about – Zeke wouldn't impact a game this season.

#8 Carolina Panthers (3-0) @ Houston Texans (1-2)

It's not really fair to leave the Thursday game in the middle like this, but I barely remember the game. It set the baseline for my weekend, so it sets the baseline for rewatchability.

As for what I learned from or was wrong about this game – The Texans aren't interesting without Tyrod Taylor. And the Panthers are going to keep throwing it. Even when running is working.

#7 Chicago Bears (1-2) @ Cleveland Browns (2-1)

This falls, but only three spots. Largely because the Browns were fun to root for this weekend. The Browns are almost always fun to root for for three quarters. Then they're fun to watch because wacky comebacks always happen against them. But Sunday afternoon, it was just fun to watch the Browns beat up on a young team like the rest of the AFC North have been beating up on them since their return to the League and before.

The Bears.... I learned that the Bears' Matt Nagy either has got to go or someone else has got to start calling the plays. Let's just get the taste of this one out of my mouth.

#6 New Orleans Saints (2-1) @ New England Patriots (1-2)

I haven't watched nearly enough highlights of this game to put it here. To even talk about what I learned from it or got wrong. Just knowing that Taysom Hill was a factor and Jameis Winston is going to make me look like a hypocrite with Trevor Lawrence is enough. Seriously, though, T-Law, even if you're trying to throw it out of bounds, just don't attempt that pass. Jameis got lucky.

It couldn't have been against a better team. And it couldn't have come at a better time for the Saints to remember that you have to play defense, too. Week 1, defensive victory. Week 2, nap time, I guess. Let's hope that isn't a repeating pattern by the time we hit week 4.

#5 Washington Football Team (1-2) @ Buffalo Bills (2-1)

This was the most embarrassing game of the week, as far as my takes. I really thought – really genuinely, not just make-believe for clicks and eyeballs— I really thought that WFT had a good enough defense and Heinicke would play well enough that we could all put the Dolphins' disaster behind us. Well, as it turns out, we're putting it behind us because that might just be what this Bills team does to people this season. We've been waiting for Sean McDermott's defense to play as well as the one he coached in Carolina. If it is, and if Josh Allen is actually as good as he is, watch out. And by that I mean watch every Bills game.

The Team didn't even play badly. They just aren't a match for the NFL's superpowers. That means they might be a Wildcard, but I'm going to be pumping the brakes really hard on this team. And where the Hell are Young and Sweaty?

#4 Los Angeles Chargers (2-1) @ Kansas City Chiefs (1-2)

I'm looking forward to this matchup being on Primetime for a decade to come. When was the last time we had two teams this good with quarterbacks this fun in the same division? It would have to be like Jim Kelly and Marino, right? (FWIW, I missed those seasons, just heard about them from breathless 80 and 90s football fans)

I wondered whether the Chargers were just the Chargers and whether Chargers-type things were going to happen in this game. My understanding is that Brandon Staley had a very Chargers day as far as managing the clock, but this time it didn't matter in the end.

It's a big deal that the Chargers could do what Miami couldn't last year – force Mahomes into throwing picks and win the game.

#3 Seattle Seahawks (1-2) @ Minnesota Vikings (1-2)

When did Kirk Cousins become a Tough Guy? Like... Is Kirk Cousins our new Ben Roethlisberger? The painfully average quarterback who has near-constant gut-check moments that we're just all in awe of and which are going to put him in the Hall of Fame? I really cannot imagine that is the case. Put him on Primetime. Has he won a game in front of the whole world yet?

And the Seahawks. Talk about a team gonna be that team. When did Seattle forget how to score points in the second half? This is supposed to be the things I got wrong, but I'm not sure I got it wrong that this offense is going to fall apart and Pete Carroll's not going to be joking about the let Russel cook thing for long.

#2 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1) @ Los Angeles Rams (3-0)

This game remains this high for maybe the funniest reason of all: Even though I know it's a snoozer, during the second view I'd be watching the fourth quarter for the first time! And it's always fun to watch Tom Brady take an ass whoopin.

I was more wrong about the Bucs than I was the Rams. I didn't think that their secondary woes would matter as much as they do. Todd Bowles is a good coach. I thought the front-seven could make up for it. I was wrong about that. And I really thought Brady would score a lot more points than he did. The Rams secondary and Jaelen Ramsey especially were flying all over the place.

I want to see the Rams play in-division... but Matthew Stafford seems to me like a dude who wants to win one of those one of these days.

#1 Green Bay Packers @ San Francisco 49ers

It's hard not to be romantic about football, indeed. This game will be fun to watch all season. We will very probably see this matchup again, in the postseason.

I was wrong that the 49ers would find success on the ground, depleted as the backfield is. Shanahan's system is predicated on handing it off to whoever you've got and them going off for over 100. That didn't happen. I would have liked to have seen more designed runs with Trey Lance, but the first half – when you're more likely to try that stuff out – went by too quickly to justify it.

I keep being wrong that defenses are going to make Aaron Rodgers look away from DeVante Adams. Or maybe it's just that I'm wrong that there must be an answer for him.

And there we did it! We made it through another Week of NFL football.

I'm still working my way through much of it, even many of these games. But if I'm going to get good at this thing, I've got to do it on a schedule. This has been your Tuesday Evening Hair of the Dog. I'll see you tomorrow with a preview of Thursday night, and I'm sure I'll have found five things or more I see maybe a little different to what you'll find elsewhere.

(It's best to leave em wanting, that's what they say, right?)

Until then, thank you for stopping by.