Week 8 Game Power Rankings, Preview, and Predix

 

What is up with this bye-week schedule? Six teams last week, only two this week? Whatever, I'm not in charge of the schedules – they'd be way worse if I were.

If you were looking for it, there was no Game Rewatch Power Rankings yesterday, and won't be for Week 7. I hated that week. I looked at my rankings and didn't see any teams moving meaningfully, and honestly, as much as I was saying I feel like I'm learning things – everyone I listened to yesterday saw the same things. And I chose to be discouraged; so I worked on something else instead.

I'm back though with the Week 8 Game Power Rankings, Preview and Predix— I'm rebranding because I'm not sure it's implicit what this piece is about. At a glance, I can already tell you this is going to be a more interesting week of football than last week was. I wish Sunday and Monday Nights were better – only one of them cracks the top-8 of a 15-game slate. So... not great.

But we've got some meaty matchups to dig in to.

Week 8 Game Power Rankings, Preview,      and Predix

#15 Los Angeles Rams (6-1) @ Houston Texans (1-6)

So I keep talking about how the Rams feel like a .500 team even though Matt Stafford and Cooper Kupp are playing the best football of their careers and the Rams have only lost once – to the Cardinals a team that looks poised to beat everyone this season. I thought last week was the week they'd finally beat someone badly enough for me to feel like they're a team with only one loss. I did not get that game. What I got was a game that makes me wonder whether the Rams aren't the team they were last year – namely, are they the team that's going to lose to the Jets (or a team as bad)?

Does Houston have a punch in them? I don't even want to know if they have a knockout punch. I know they gave New England all the Patriots could handle, but the Patriots and the Rams are decidedly different teams. I have no faith in the Texans organization to get this thing turned around any time soon, but there's no point in getting Tyrod Taylor back on the field at this point. You don't have the long-term answer in Davis Mills, but you may as well get him as much playing time as you can. Houston is probably looking forward to an extended stay with another Matt Shchaub.

This game has no business not being a blowout, and that's why it's down this far. I don't want to watch either of these teams, normally, and I really don't want to see the cow patty the Texans stadium crew will be cleaning up when this game is over.

Rams 35 – Texans 16

#14 Miami Dolphins (1-6) @ Buffalo Bills (4-2)

I'm starting to think that this Dolphins season is karma for all way Chris Grier abused Bill O'Brien to get all the picks that were supposed to rebuild the team. I've decided that the Deshaun Watson noise is just that – generated by the media because there's too much ad revenue to be generated by clicks on articles promising a trade. If there is a trade – there should not be a trade – it's due diligence. I agreed with that take this spring and summer. It's Kyle Shanahan calling Matt LeFleur about Aaron Rodgers. And none of this is discussing this actual game.

Is there anything to say?

Do I believe the Dolphins have a snowball's chance in Hell in this game? No. No, I do not. I thought they did, week 2. I do not, week 8. The Bills are too good and coming off a bye. But more than that (and sorry, Bills fans, I'm not talking about your team in this piece), I don't trust the offense.

I'm working myself off the cliff that Tua is just not a good quarterback. I don't like his ball placement, but I've read too many good articles about his efficiency. Which means maybe I'm using the wrong verbiage – or thinking in the wrong way. I don't like where Tua is putting the ball on his receivers – but if his receivers aren't where they're supposed to be or where he thinks they're going to be and if he doesn't know how they're going to react for the ball.... Basically I'm going to be listening to this game and watching highlights looking at his decision-making. His decision-making has been poor and it's led to poor ball location.

If the problem is Miami's receivers, then I'm fine. Funnel everything through Waddle, get him 1500 yards, and let's get this season over with.

Bills win by 50.

#13 New York Giants (2-5) @ Kansas City Chiefs (3-4)

This game falls because there's no chance it's not a blowout... right?

The Giants' best receiver right now is Daniel Jones. The defense showed out – but against the Joe Brady Panthers, who don't seem to be able to do anything right on offense. It's like without Christian McCaffrey nothing works. Which is... problematic to say the least.

And the Chiefs... the Chiefs need a get-right game. They need to play a team that just can't compete. And they need to get someone not named Kelce or Hill the ball. But I've been saying that since Week 1 and Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes – or the Chiefs receivers – haven't being listening to me.

What more is there really to say about this one? It's down here because it's not interesting.

The Chiefs win in a landslide. Giants trip over themselves early and can't get out from under the weight of the points the Chiefs bury on them. 40 – 24

#12 Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5) @ Seattle Seahawks (2-5)

My how things can change. The Seahawks of old would be down this far because I anticipate this to be blowout – not because I think the Jaguars have the better quarterback. Yeesh. This game probably could have been in any of the last three spots, but I guess I just said it – Trevor Lawrence saves this team.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've stopped calling him Joey Lawrence. I was doing it because it's funny to be, but also because a Joey is a baby kangaroo – and when he was throwing those ridiculous incompletions, he reminded me of a baby kangaroo just learning how to ambulate. Well, he beat my team and looked good doing it. He doesn't feel like a “joey” to me any more than his team feels like it's spinning its wheels at his position, anymore.

I don't care about the rest of the players in this game – can Seattle just throw the ball at DK every play until they have a lead, please?

Jags win in overtime, 24-21.

#11 Washington Football Team (2-5) @ Denver Broncos (3-4)

I can't say I haven't enjoyed watching the Broncos lose. I mean, I haven't, technically, watched a full game of theirs this season. So when I say that, what I mean is that I have enjoyed seeing the final score on the ticker of the games I am watching. Which is a long way to describe how I feel about the Washington Football Team, only the inverse: I hate it that this team is losing.

I also hate it that Taylor Heinicke hasn't figured out that slides and dives don't give him forward momentum in the NFL. Bro. Stop going to the ground so early. That no-score dive kinda put the first question marks on him for me. That was seven weeks. Two weeks was sufficient time, I think, for that rule to sink in.

I don't know what's wrong with the Broncos, and I don't care. I want Heinicke to get a win. But I suspect it's going to come ugly. 17-12.

#10 Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) @ New York Jets (1-5)

I genuinely hate putting the Bengals this low. But, hey, they cracked the top-10. I almost wish I could say the same about the Jets. But I hate the Jets. So, really, this spot is a reflection of how much I like the Bengals this season.

I don't need to wax poetic about this game. The Bengals are a complete team with a good defense and a great young quarterback – and that's pretending like Chase isn't the best receiver in the League this year. And the Jets' only reason for playing games at all this season is out with a PCL.

The problem for me, and why I put this game where it is, is that I feel like the Jets have another sneaky win against them. And I'm not sure the Bengals aren't as open to a nut-shot as the Titans were.

Bengals win, 35 – 10. I really don't know where the Jets' points are coming from.

#9 Green Bay Packers (6-1) @ Arizona Cardinals (7-0)

This feels like I'm being a troll, even to me – but if Packers fans are right, this could be a blowout by halftime. Fans, myself included, I find, are often wrong. I am interested to watch this game, I do think it's going to be a good one, but I don't have any insights to offer about the Cardinals.

The Packers seem like a team people are confused about. I like their defense. Sure, they have one redzone stop, but that feels more to me like an artifact of the team their opponents are playing than the Packers' defense itself. In other words, that seems like an Aaron Rodgers problem. It's not stopping the Cardinals from scoring points I'm worried about. It's the Packers being able to score enough to keep the game close – and that was my worry before Devante Adams went down with COVID. Hopefully he's okay, makes a full recovery and all that.

The Packers are going to lose, though. 42-34.

#8 San Francisco 49ers (2-4) @ Chicago Bears (3-4)

I'm almost as surprised as you that this game climbed not only into the top-10, but is just outside the top-half of the games. It comes almost entirely down to the narratives, the quarterbacks, and the head coaches. These are two coaches who are hot seats with their next loss. If Kyle Shanahan goes into Chicago and beats beaten by this dogshit team with Jimmy G playing poorly, it might be time for him to start working on his resume. Sure, he has a long season left ahead of him, but it'll be his last in the Bay Area.

Chicago management should already be planning for the contingency they fire Matt Nagy after the season as it is. If he loses this game, especially if he can't slow the Shanahan rushing attack and his quarterback continues to look like he can't read the field, it might be time to consider a mid-season change. He survived a mid-season quarterback change that should have gotten him the guillotine last year. Don't make us watch this team get worse as the weeks get colder.

I actually think all of the things I've said are going to happen, except I think the Bears win – because I have to take the better quarterback. Jimmy G plays like shit, the 49ers get their running game going, and Matt Nagy gets canned after because his quarterback looks confused against a not-great defense.

I'm not sure I believe a thing I've written about this game.

Bears win, 27 – 25.

#7 Dallas Cowboys (5-1) @ Minnesota Vikings (3-3)

Well, Sunday Night Football made the top-half of the list. Only barely. And not because I think this one is going to be competitive. Both of these teams are coming off byes, but only one of them has a good quarterback and defense that's playing lights-out. And it ain't the Vikings.

Who are the Vikings? It feels like when Case Keenum was slinging the ball they were a team with two great receivers who could run it when they needed to. Now they just feel like a turnover waiting to happen to me.

The Cowboys, on the other hand, are a team I find myself defending publicly a lot, lately. Someone asked me why they're finding success lately, asking if it's just luck. Not luck. They're playing to that hype they always have hanging around them this season; and in no small part because they have phenomenal coordinators and a legitimately star-studded roster. I think they roll over these Vikings, and I don't think there's much resistance.

35 – 13.

#6 New England Patriots (3-4) @ Los Angeles Chargers (4-2)

Wow, after the ass-whippin the Chargers took going into their bye, they feel like they've lost the last two or three straight, don't they? Talk about getting bare-ass beat. But they have a flawed New England team in front of them. A flawed New England team with a frisky quarterback and a solid defense and which just put up 40 points on a flawed team. The Chargers don't need another embarrassment – and, wow, that's what it would be if the Patriots beat them.

This Patriots outfit is just another team, and if the Chargers want to ditch that mantle for themselves, they have to win this game.

From what I've seen, I don't know that Brandon Staley was being cute when he said that his team needed to run the ball. From what I've see, they look like a complete team that can beat anybody when Austin Ekeler is the focal point of the offense. When they try to feature Mike Williams or (and I can't believe I'm about to say this) god forbid Keenan Allen, the whole operation looks a whole hell of a lot shakier.

I don't want to talk about the Patriots. And I don't want them to win this game. Not only because they're the Patriots and seeing the Patriots have lost is fun, and not only because this Chargers team is fun and I'd like to see them build some momentum in the division to make the Chiefs really have to scrape and fight for a Playoff spot, but because I like for teams that play defense and run the ball to win.

I'm not singing the fight song this week, but the Los Angeles Super Chargers win in overtime 23 – 20.

#5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-1) @ New Orleans Saints (4-2)

There's no way you aren't tuning me out right now. You have to know what the last five games on the schedule are, and you have to think I'm just organizing them to annoy you. This game fell this far?

That's fair. I did have it in the 6 spot, but I like the Saints more than either the Patriots or the Chargers this season – just because watching the Jameis offense is an experience so very different from the last twenty years or however long of Drew Brees. Sean Peyton doesn't seem to me like a coach or a playcaller who is unhappy with his quarterback. If he didn't like what Winston is doing out there, I imagine we'd see a whole lot more Tayson Hill. Which, honestly, I'm surprised we haven't just because he's on the roster. Alvin Kamara sure covers up holes, doesn't he?

And this is a Divisional Matchup. I love Division games, especially in this Division. Wonky shit always happens in these games.

I like New Orleans to win this one, actually. It's about time that Tampa's injuries catch up to them, and I think the Saints can make it happen, all-Who-is-that-guy wide receiver team or not. And they do it to the tune of 38 – 30.

#4 Philadelphia Eagles (2-5) @ Detroit Lions (0-7)

You're goddam right I want to watch this game this badly. I'm seriously not pulling your leg. I thought last week was when the give-up was going to kick in for Detroit. I couldn't have been more wrong. The Eagles are not the Rams – the Eagles aren't a team who looks like they can beat anyone.

The Eagles only play well for one quarter at a time. And if it's not the fourth, they're not winning.

I genuinely want to watch how Hurts plays in this game. I'm fascinated with his development – I'm loving watching him and Tua in parallel. It's unbelievable how far ahead of them both Burrow is.

I don't care if I don't like Jared Goff. I don't care if he didn't have the killer instinct needed to actually win that game last week. He gets his first win without Sean McVay as his head coach against he Eagles – because that's what I want to happen. And sometimes even I get what I want.

But it's going to be ugly. 24-23.

#3 Carolina Panthers (3-4) @ Atlanta Falcons (3-3)

What the actual fuck, right?

Division game, dudes. Not only that, but it's AFC South, and if you've been reading this thing top to bottom like I'm writing it, you know that I think wacky and entertaining things happen in this divison. And what could be wackier than the Falcons winning this game, getting to 4-3, and tying up the Saints for second place in the Division? I choose to go with the things that would make me happy in these rankings, and nothing would make me happier than if the team that just beat my Dolphins at home turned out to be one of the Contenders at the end of the season.

Because I insist that the Dolphins were never threatening to win that game – no matter whether they had the lead or otherwise. That Matt Ryan fumble made the contest look much more competitive than it was; but the Kyle Pitts thing is very real, and I am saltier and saltier every week that Miami didn't draft him. He's too big to defend! Whatever.

Can Joe Brady's offense get anything right this week? I know this game has two teams in it, but that's literally all I want to know about the Panthers. Their defense is good enough. Can anything get going with the offense now that everyone watching football knows that all they can really do is chuck it up to DJ Moore? Because I suspect they won't. I have a feeling that Darnold is going to play poorly again and the Falcons are going to look like a team to beat. And that makes me very happy right now for some reason.

Falcons win 27 – 24.

#2 Pittsburgh Steelers (3-3) @ Cleveland Browns (4-3)

Another Divisional matchup! This one for the bottom of the Division. When was the last time all four of these teams were this competitive? I guess it was before the NFL/AFL merger, because the Browns haven't been good in the modern era.

I don't feel like I know either of these teams very well. The last time I saw the Steelers, I was confident their receivers were going to look good without JuJu and they made me look like an asshole. Which is about right for Pittsburgh. So I really don't know about this one. If I had a partner, they would have to carry this one. All I know is I want to watch it.

I have to call a winner, though.

The Browns have proven they can run the ball without Chubb and Hunt. Still want to see the aerial element work, but I trust Keenum to keep it real. Which I guess means that the Steelers defense isn't enough. Browns win a low scoring affair that looks closer than it feels, 20-17. The Steelers dwell in the basement of the AFC North for maybe the first time ever.

And the possibility of that alone is enough for this game to be my #2.

#1 Tennessee Titans (5-2) @ Indianapolis Colts (3-4)

Not the juggernaut matchup many would put at the top of their game rankings. But no one else is doing a game rankings, far as I can tell. So fuck them. I want to inject this game into my veins.

The Titans have a chance with this game to put some very serious distance between themselves and the rest of the Division. I would love that, because I feel like Tannehill has another Tannehill in him, circa Week 18, and I don't think these Colts are going away. Carson Wentz has too much guts, and the running game is too good.

But I could say the same of Tannehill and the Titans. If it comes down to the defenses, I'm not sure it's not a wash. The Titans defense has routinely underperformed, and the Colts were playing like shit for three weeks before suddenly coming alive the last four. Except it was the Titans defense that really impressed against KC. So which team are we going to get?

I like the Titans to win this one – and I like them to do it big on Tannehill's arm. I see another two-TD performance for both AJ Brown and King Henry, too. Oh, and I very much enjoyed the King Cat touchdown pass. Nobody saw that coming.

Titans win 38 – 34.

And that's that!

These are exhausting. Lol. Thanks for making it this far. I'll talk at you again real soon.