Week 9 Game Power Rankings, Previews, And Predix

 

So, hey, turns out working from a template makes this much easier, take significantly less time, and I need almost no words to get ramped up to talk about these games. So the opening for this one is only going to be this long.

Week 9 Game Power Rankings, Previews, and Predix

#13 Miami Dolphins (1-7) @ Houston Texans (1-7)

I cannot believe that I'm about to write about how the Dolphins should win this game, but Tua has a hand injury that leaves me wondering what sort of performance we can reasonably expect this weekend. This guy....

I shouldn't feel as strongly as I do about Tua not being the guy, but I do feel this strongly. And everything that comes out – about the team, about him, about ownership – confirms my bias so firmly, I'd be stupid to try to argue it with myself. To say nothing of insane. Everyone should be given the time and opportunity – and environment – to develop. And if I were a fan of the team still and not intellectually stimulated by my curiosity as to why the Dolphins can't seem to get it right organizationally, I would want Tua to get all the time he needs. I would be upset the team were looking into Watson at all.

But I'm not a fan, I've decided. I'm curious why this team can't seem to get anything right, and I'm running out of patience with the Brian Flores Experience. Not because I think Flores or Grier are bad at what they do, or even incapable of getting the team out of this mess – because I want to root for other teams and I'm tired of the attention I pay to the Dolphins being rewarded with the same lack of effort and results every week, every season.

So, what about the Texans? Is this the week I openly root against the Dolphins because I want to see a good football team play well?

No. This is not that week. That week may never come – rooting for the Dolphins is too habitually ingrained in me; even when I want to root against them, I can't. This is, however, another week they could lose to a bad team.

Tyrod Taylor is playing. That alone makes the Texans a viable and threatening offense. I don't know if the defense is a threat, but Miami hasn't played an unthreatening defense well enough yet for me to say they'll even score points this week. Will the Texans? I'm not sure. Miami's defense plays really well through the first three quarters. But is this the week they start to shut it down and go into Quit Mode? I doubt it because so many of Miami's players are young and still trying to establish themselves in this League. That hunger alone is what Flores and Grier banked on, and it didn't work out. You still have to have quality veteran leadership, and Miami's veterans on defense have been hurt or in contract disputes. So....

I'm trying to talk about the Texans, here.

Do the Texans have anything besides Tyrod Taylor? I've watched a couple of their games this season so far, and— I don't know. If this weren't the Dolphins, I think they'd keep Mills in there. But because the Dolphins are an imminently beatable team, I think you have to take the chance to get practice winning games to show your players you really are trying your best to win games and develop their talents.

Miami has only beaten the Texans once in that franchise's storied history. In 9 contests, Miami has been flat trounced in 8 of them. I think Miami's one victory was a flukey win in Miami where Tannehill went off for like 1200 yards and 19 touchdowns on like four slants and checkdowns that went for 95 yards YAC apiece. History repeats on Sunday.

Houston wins, 42 – 13.

#12 Buffalo Bills (5-2) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6)

You have to play the games on your schedule. And as much as we would all like to see the Bills only playing the best competition in the League each week – I know I want to see them play real teams – sometimes the great squads actually do get cupcakes. The question becomes whether they eat it or smear it all over their faces or sit in it – that's why the games are played.

There is a non-zero chance that Trevor Lawrence and Urban Meyer and this Jacksonville Jaguars team are as prepared as they've been all season – that they come out of this game from the opening kickoff until the expiring second and play the best football of their collective lives. And in that scenario, there is a non-zero chance the Jacksonville Jaguars could win this game. Because anything can happen any given Sunday. The Tennessee Titans beat the Bills and lost to the Jets.

Literally anything can happen.

But I don't believe for a second that anything will happen.

I've watched that Bills/Dolphins game a couple times, now – and I'm going to watch more Bills football through today and tomorrow. One thing I saw is patience.

We pay a lot of lip service in analyst circles (lol, like I'm in analyst circles) to offenses, especially those predicated on or fully capable of capitalizing at will on the big play, being patient. You hear people say every week that the Chiefs need to be patient. I'll revisit that later – this isn't the Chiefs game.

The Bills don't need to be patient. Josh Allen was among the patientest quarterbacks I've ever seen against Miami last week. There was exactly no hurry, no rush, no feeling like he was going to lose this game at any time. I think when we say that offenses need to be patient, what we're saying is that they need to run the ball more – but what we mean is that they need to trust and rely on their defenses. And the Bills can trust and rely on their defense as well as any team in football right now – and the numbers prove it (first in scoring offense and defense).

The Jaguars have no hope, and I'm not going to play like there's anything for us, the viewing public, to learn from this game – not presumptively, not prejudicially, not before the action has played out. Maybe this one will change in the Rewatch Rankings, but I wouldn't expect it to climb too high.

I don't often rank blowouts worth rewatching.

Buffalo by 2000.

#11 Denver Broncos (4-4) @ Dallas Cowboys (6-1)

A bronco is a wild horse, right? Isn't that part of what cowboys do – break wild horses? ...Yeah....

There are things to talk about in Denver – like how their receivers keep getting healthy then not playing well together. Or how the running game looks okay sometimes. Or how Von Miller was traded and the guy they drafted to replace him has some pretty huge shoes to fill – in the long-term sense. Von Miller was only an above-average player to this point this season. If he can be at least that, the trade and his draft selection were worth it.

I am offended by comparisons of Teddy Bridgewater's game to Ryan Tannehill's. I have come to this conclusion having not watched much Teddy B over the years – by trusting the people I listen to when they said that the two were the same player. Teddy is not Ryan Tannehill. RT has guts and plays with physicality and passion. Bridgewater throws checkdowns to covered receivers with no chance to break tackles. Teddy takes ugly hits and gets hurt. And Teddy isn't winning games.

I shouldn't be talking about the Titans, but I wrote about them last week that they have Tannehill to rev them up emotionally. Who do the Broncos have? Von Miller was their pregame hype dude. And can you trust their offense as an operation any further than you can throw it? And let's be real, ain't none of us throwing that past the line of scrimmage.

The Cowboys, on the other hand, are a fun team to talk about, and I should have just made this whole thing about them. But I've done that too many times in these blurbs – made them about one team – and I'm trying to be more comprehensive about these games. I say that, and I guarantee there's going to be one where I'm like, “I don't know, you tell me why it's up here this high and what's going to happen” later because I always get tired of doing these by the last three.

I should not have shared that. But that's how this game feels like it's going to go.

The Cowboys are going to pound on this Broncos team for three quarters, maybe even for 52 minutes or thereabouts – and then the Broncos are going to come alive and make it look respectable, because that's what professional football teams do when they play opponents that are dramatically better than they.

Dak's injury situation is worth keeping an eye on throughout the game, but I'm not sure this one matters. You can run and throw on these Broncos, and I think the Cowboys make it look easy. If they played well for their backup quarterback the last time we saw them, just imagine how they'll play for Dak knowing he's hobbled by injury.

We'll see, but I'm expecting a blowout.

Dallas 50 – 25.

#10 Las Vegas Raiders (5-2) @ New York Giants (2-6)

The Raiders! Man, I'd almost forgotten about this team.

I haven't written about Henry Ruggs's accident and how his pending incarceration hurt this team. I haven't wanted to think too much about how my prediction that the stress of Jon Gruden's betrayal was going to start showing soon in the cracks of these players' lives. I don't want to think that's what happened here – but I also don't want to think about how many people spend their every waking moment obliterated on alcohol and how we normalize these multi-ton death trap vehicles so many of us own. Thinking about all of that bums me out and makes me want to retreat from considering the Raiders at all. So that's what I've done – even here in these pages.

The Giants are a bad team.

You want to say their players are bad, but I don't know that there are many bad players in the NFL. Inadequate, maybe, is the better word. This team is not adequately staffed to take on the demands of its customers. That's what you could say if they were a restaurant. But they aren't a restaurant – they're a professional football team in a city with high expectations of its football team(s).

The problem for me with the Giants, and why they're always toward the bottom of my Power Rankings, is that I don't have any clear answers for Daniel “Durpleton” Jones. I can't even decide whether he's a bad quarterback or not. He looks like a newborn giraffe out there, and I have to wonder whether that's him, whether it's coaching, or whether it's me. I don't know. But for all this game is in the #10 spot, I don't want to watch it.

The Raiders feel like a sub-.500 team. And yet they're 5-2, atop their division, and among the best records in the League. They have a ferocious pass rush, and Derek Carr playing as well as he ever has— And I don't trust them to go 9-8 this season. Rich Bisaccia, though, is a wildcard in this whole situation. My expectation that the Raiders will collapse in the second half of the season isn't predicated entirely upon Jon Gruden. I've watched them start well and finish as badly as anyone for 20 years. Do I trust Rich Bis'ch (If this were a podcast, you'd get a Die Antwoord “Rich Bitch” drop, here) to change that?

Maybe.

We'll see on Sunday whether he can keep things going the way they should be for this team or whether they go how they always seem to. I expect the Raiders to win this one, but anything short of a blowout will be a disappointment. Whatever else happens, the Giants defense has to show up. Even in a loss, it can't be a blowout.

The Raiders win this one, but it's too close for anyone's comfort. 20-17.

#9 Minnesota Vikings (3-4) @ Baltimore Ravens (5-2)

It feels like I haven't watched the Ravens play football in a month of Sundays. Seriously, through the first several weeks of the season they were on my television every week. Then they disappeared into their bye after pounding on the Chargers in a boring game, and I'd completely forgotten about them.

The Vikings do not want to play the Ravens right now. The Vikings did not want to start the season 3-4 – and they don't want to play the Ravens coming off a bye. I don't know what to think about this Minnesota team, otherwise.

I don't like watching Kirk Cousins play football.

It's not because of his contract. That contributes to it when the games are over, but I just don't like the way he plays the game. It's like— He's got some really really good wide receivers, and they only show up in games late when it looks like Minnesota is going to lose. This is not the fault of the receivers, by the way. I don't even think it's the fault of the offensive scheme. Stefon Diggs didn't run screaming to Buffalo because the scheme wasn't getting him the ball. He left Minnesota because Cousins wouldn't – or couldn't – throw him the ball.

And what is up with the Minnesota defense? Before Danielle Hunter went down. Now there just feels like there's no hope.

Maybe I need to start scripting the next 5 teams who have no hope for after the Week 10 Team Power Rankings.

Both of these teams are going to want to run the ball. I imagine that's the game script. But I feel like both of them are going to have to throw it. And the Ravens have struggled when they go pass-first. For a team with only two losses, they've struggled at a lot of things. They've just also overcome those struggles.

I expect they will in this spot, too. Although 1 o'clock isn't a Primetime game. Maybe Cousins does show up and ball out against higher competition. I don't expect it.

The Ravens win 35 – 24.

#8 Chicago Bears (3-5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (4-3)

Man, when the Steelers get get-right games, they get them in bunches, don't they? Their season went from over and we're wondering whether Tomlin is going to bail to coach college to back over .500 and heads and shoulders in the thick of this Division and the playoff race as it stands midseason. Whose Weight Power Rankings (which predicted the Steelers in the Playoffs) don't looks so damn dumb now, eh? With that defense and a Ben Roethlisberger who is still a killer (if he's never exactly been either a general or a scholar) they're no easy out. Add an improving-each-week Najee Harris to that mix and maybe we can continue to get impressive performances out of Chase Claypool and Diontae Johnson, and this isn't a bad team.

The Bears, on the other hand, might just be a bad team. I'm not sure, but I get the feeling that this collection of players just don't work together as they're assembled.

I don't like watching their defense. A few years ago, the Bears were among the funnest defenses in the League. Fast forward to last week, and I could go to sleep when they're on the field. Especially knowing that they need to steal a possession or five for their quarterback if they're going to win any of these games. If the Bears defense plays like it did against Cincy, this is a victory walking away. The Steelers can't win in a shoot-out. Their quarterback just can't get that done anymore.

But if the Bears fuck around and get Justin Fields sacked 9 times and the ground game doesn't work, the Steelers are going to walk away with this one. It's not the Bearss problem, but if they lose this game, they're going to give the Steelers a chance to come alive in the Conference. If they don't, they can keep their own slim Playoff hopes alive.

I don't think they're going to do that.

Steelers win this one close – 24-20.

#7 Los Angeles Chargers (4-3) @ Philadelphia Eagles (3-5)

The records of these two teams make them appear more closely matched than I feel like they are.

The Eagles can put a whoopin on a bad team, but they can also get whooped by vulnerable teams. Which— This season is exactly what we could have expected from a first year, first time head coach with what amounts to a rookie quarterback at the helm. I've written it a dozen times in these pages (you don't expect to compete for the Division with a rookie quarterback), but that doesn't mean you don't expect to compete for wins each week.

I'm not sure at this point that Jalen Hurts is a competitive advantage. He and Tua are, in my mind, the same quarterback; the main difference is that Hurts is a little stouter, more physical, and a better runner. They both read the field too slowly and pat the ball instead of firing it into open windows. But that's what you get with rookie quarterbacks. Doesn't matter how many offseasons they have. Until they have something like 20 or 30 actual starts under their belt, they're going to be slow and hesitant to hit the fleetingly open window.

Speaking of rookie quarterbacks and teams that can really take ass whoopins— The Chargers are on a two-game skid of playing particularly poor football – especially on offense.

I'd like to write and feel confident in doing so that the Chargers are going to get right in this one. But the Eagles have a chance here to even themselves up with the Chargers in the win column. I don't think they think this LA team is all that special, and I think their defense have something fun cooked up for him. Do I think the Chargers lose this one? No. But I think they keep it so close we're wondering whether Brandon Staley isn't just another Chargers head coach – you know what I mean?

Chargers gonna Charger – but they win this one, 21 – 19.

#6 Arizona Cardinals (7-1) @ San Francisco 49ers (3-4)

The Cardinals weren't even on bye last week, and I'd already forgotten about them since Thursday. Yesterday I rewatched their tilt with the Packers because I'd forgotten it happened at all. And I still don't feel like I have anything to say about them.

Are their receivers healthy? Is Kyler Murray? It feels like they've been on bye, things have been so quiet.

And what about this 49ers squad? They have the pieces on both sides of the ball to have Arizona's record. What is going so terribly wrong for them? Is the quarterback position really that much of a bother? (I already know which teams I'm going to be studying the rest of today and tomorrow – the Jets, and the 49ers – because I want to try to answer that question.)

This game doesn't make it inside the top-5 because as many questions as I have about these teams and as much as I do want to watch this game, I don't know what to think about it or expect from it.

Told you there would be one of these on this list.

I have to predict the Cardinals to win just because I feel like they still have a chance at running away with this Conference. But they also have a chance at totally bottoming out from this point – they've done it every season with Kyler Murray, am I to think this is the year that changes? Maybe it is. Anyone who wants undersized quarterbacks to succeed can only hope.

Cardinals win, but it's interesting. This Division always plays good games, and they're always weird, so maybe the 49ers are even leading late – maybe even really late. Let's say 34-31 in OT.

#5 New England Patriots (4-4) @ Carolina Panthers (4-4)

I feel like no two-week span in my life better sums up my emotional divorce with the Dolphins. I've had the Jets, Bills, and Patriots above the Dolphins in these rankings – and not because of the teams they're playing. I'm genuinely more interested in everyone in the AFC East besides the Dolphins.

I feel like this is a crossroads game. I haven't brought one of those up in a while –  I haven't seen a contest that so clearly predicts the direction two teams will be taking going out of it in a while. The Panthers feel like a team barely hanging on to a .500 record. Meanwhile, the Patriots feel like a team that might not stop winning from here out.

The latter is an artifact of 20 years of Tom Brady and the efficiency with which Mac Jones is playing his position. The former is the result of an offense that can't do anything without Christian McCaffrey besides throw it to DJ Moore and praying.

Which— I know I keep saying this, but it doesn't make sense that the Panthers are struggling the way they are. I know that I need to study them more closely before I say things like this; but I don't think Darnold is a bad quarterback. If he were bad, his backup would look better. But he looks about as good as Teddy B did – which is to say like the offense just isn't good.

Almost like they're running a college offensive scheme and it was figured out before it arrived at the game or something. Almost like Joe Brady isn't a good coordinator.

Which is what I expect Billy B to do to this Panthers team – figure out their offense before they try to deploy it. The Patriots defense has played well of late. They are my big memory from the Chargers tilt, and I don't expect Sam Darnold to turn his fortunes around against the Patriots around on Sunday. In fact, I'm really not sure this isn't a blowout.

I want to watch it for that reason alone: this feels like it could be a total stinker or an absolute rager. We'll see, won't we?

Patriots win 24-21.

#4 Atlanta Falcons (3-4) @ New Orleans Saints (5-2)

There are games that appear on this list way higher than they should – and that is how we can tell this is my Power Rankings and not yours, and not made with anyone else in mind. This is one of those games. The NFC South might be me favorite division to just watch. I wrote about it last week, and I'm writing it now. Their games are always fun, even when the teams are wildly mismatched.

These teams are not wildly mismatched. Which means it's probably going to be a blowout where one of them forgets to get off the plane. I would expect that team to be the Falcons, if I thought it was actually going to happen. Since I don't think that's going to happen, I can talk about how the Saints look like a complete team that just needs to get some consistency from the quarterback.

Which is a nutty thing to say. Their wide receivers are also-rans and has-beens and castoffs. But it doesn't matter what previous coaching staffs thought about them. Just like Cordarrelle Patterson on the other sideline of this contest, the only thing that matters is that Sean Payton believes in his guys and his guys do what they're supposed to.

Some matchups come down to the players. Some matchups come down to the coaches. I think this one is going to be between the coaches.

Matt Ryan and Kyle Pitts are going to have their game. And Patterson is going to get his touches. But I don't know that Arthur Smith has the same buy-in, the same amount of cache, within his offense that Payton does within his. That takes time, first of all – but second it takes guys who are able to do the thing. And the Falcons, for all they've played their guts out in some of these losing efforts, just don't have enough quality dudes to get it done against a higher quality operation.

Also Dennis Allen is coaching the Saints defense – and I do think that matters more and more as the season goes on.

Saints win in a close, back and forth contest, 37-34.

#3 Green Bay Packers (7-1) @ Kansas City Chiefs (4-4)

Why does it feel like this is the perfect game for Aaron Rodgers to miss? And why does it feel like Aaron Rodgers is losing what pathos (or ethos; I should really look these words up at this point) he gained by doing the Pat McAffee show.

He's even got Pat questioning his credibility as a person at this point.

But that's not really what I want to talk about. Just like I don't want to dwell on Henry Ruggs, I don't want want to second guess Aaron Rodgers too closely. He is clearly an intelligent person who has people telling him what he wants to hear – and as such thinks more highly of his opinions than maybe he should. This is called the Dunning-Kreuger Effect, and the smarter and more capable you are in any one field, the more likely you are to fall into this kind of thinking in others.

But really, though— If you were going to try to get Jordan Love quality playing time this season to evaluate him and Rodgers moving forward, you couldn't have picked a better game for him to get to prepare to start for.

It would be one thing if we were learning that Love is the starter – if Love were learning he is the starter – on Sunday. It's another that this is the Chiefs before they've fixed their defense.

When I say that teams need to be patient and rely on their defenses, it should be pretty clear that Kansas City can't be patient. In fact, that very knowledge that they can't rely on their defense explains why the offense is pressing so hard. Mahomes (at least – probably Andy Reid, too) has to know that his defense isn't going to get him many stops, nor many turnovers. So he's going to get as close to zero extra drives as a quarterback is going to get. So he's pressing. And opposing defenses are finding success taking away his options not named Hill – and at limiting those to shallow routes and quick throws.

Here's the thing: the Chiefs are looking a get-right game right in the face this week. If there's a defense that people are sleeping on, it's Green Bay's.

I wrote going into the Thursday Night game that Green Bay's defense is better between the 20s than we give it credit, and I wrote after that I should have stuck with the Packers to win – because it was their defense between the 20s that won that game for them. But that was against a Cardinals team without DeAndre Hopkins.

But it may not matter. Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce might be enough on their own to beat the Packers – especially if I'm wrong that the Chiefs defense isn't going to get turnovers.

I wrote that before actually pitting these teams against one another in my head. There is a very good chance that Jordan Love has a Zach Wilson game. Luckily the Chiefs' red isn't anywhere near similar to his Green and Gold. So you'd think that would be easy to avoid. You'd have thought that about all the teams Favre threw to that weren't in Green and Gold, too, though.

So I don't know.

I really don't know about this one. That's why I have it up here, even though it has a chance to be a total shitshow, sans Aaron Rodgers.

Gosh, I'd hate it if it turns out he's just another rich person who thinks he's enlightened because his idiot friends tell him he is because it's what they think he wants to hear.

And I haven't even talked about how the Chiefs are desperate for this win in the Division and to stay alive in the Conference. Maybe for that reason alone they win this one, 33-31.

#2 Cleveland Browns (4-4) @ Cincinnati Bengals (5-3)

Don't you just hate it when your big brothers get nicer things than you?

Isn't that how Browns fans must feel about the Bengals having both Burrow and Chase (and both of the playing well) in the aftermath of Odell Beckham Jr's release?

I think that more and more the questions about Baker and his viability as a quarterback are going to pile up. Colin Cowherd is already saying he's not got it and they should move on from him. But Colin would say that – he didn't like the pick in the first place. ...I'm starting to think he's right, though.

We've been saying for three seasons now that, “Baker has to win one of these games” where it comes down to him in the clutch. Because he loses too many games that come down to him and his arm and his football prowess. You can't pay a guy Franchise money to lose close, important games.

But can we really evaluate him based on the level of talent around him? I think we can. He has the most efficient running offense in the League, but the least efficient passing offense. That seems like it's squarely on his shoulders.

I'm over here telling myself that I don't know what to do about Baker, just keep him one more year and see what you can do with his receivers— And the Bengals are looking like a complete team because Burrow plays so well. They're not really that far off.

I'd like it if Tyler Boyd and Tee Higging (the T-Bros as I call them) (Not really) were more consistent. And they could probably use Gio Bernard now that Mixon is staying healthy and they need a change of pace coming out of the backfield. But the offense isn't what I'm worried about with this team. Neither is the defense, come to think of it.

Actually— I'm not worried about this team at all. Holy shit, I think the Bengals are legitimately that good. I did say I expected them to take the lead in this Division and run away with it. So, what the Hell. The Bengals in a blowout – 34-20.

#1 Tennessee Titans (6-2) @ Los Angeles Rams (7-1)

I think the Titans are my favorite team in the NFL. I just can't quit you, Ryan Tannehill!

And this is the week they have a heart-breaking loss and I'm reminded why I don't want to have a favorite team. The Rams are that good. They're so good they can make you think your team sucks.

I've written a lot of words about defenses that are playing above where we thought they would be at this point. The Titans are another one of those teams. The Rams, on the other hand, are a team whose defense is playing less good than we expected – which is saying something, because they've lost one game and their defense has overall balled out. That's why they have Von Miller, now. And I'm assuming he's going to play this weekend.

The Titans are vulnerable to the pass rush, and Derrick Henry is out. That means Tannehill is going to drop back 50 times. Does it also mean he's going to take 10 sacks? I doubt it. If the Titans are smart, they do a lot of rollouts and designed runs with Tannehill – keep him moving away from Aaron Donald and Co. And if I'm not mistaken, Tannehill has a pretty good record against the LA teams.

I haven't said anything about the Rams offense. There isn't much to say. No DeSean Jackson means more deep shots for Van Jefferson, who looked like the faster player anyway. You know I like Darrell Henderson and think Sony Michel can only run in a straight line – but somehow McVay is getting more out of these two than I thought possible. In my head, I can't find a situation where this game is close – where, in other words, the Titans can hang with the Rams offense.

But I've thought that about a lot of good offenses that haven't gotten it done this season. So maybe the Titans make me look like a genius and keep this one close.

Rams win 31-24.

And there it is! Another week of Game Power Rankings in the books. I still have so many games to go back and watch, so many partial ideas that are floating around in my head for things to talk about. But I'm back on schedule and even posting this son of a bitch an hour earlier than planned. Take that, assimilating new data!

 Now that the DeShaun Watson stuff is over and I can definitively move on from the Dolphins because owner Stephen Ross is officially too involved, I can find other things to attach myself to.

You'll know what they are once I find them.

Thank you for checking this out. I'll talk at you soon, alright?