Week 6 Game Power Rankings - But first! One little thing about the Gruden situation

 

I've been enjoying listening to Amy Trask speak with Rich Eisen the last few (several?) weeks. She is someone whose name I did not know. The only female executive I knew was Dawn Aponte, now I believe only a rung or two below the Commissioner, formerly of the Dolphins' front office.

I have learned so much about the Raiders and Al Davis (I wrote Al Michaels! Haha Maybe him, too.) - specifically because of Rich Eisen. I have learned so much about the League and the Media surrounding it because of Rich Eisen. He is an admirably forthright man when it comes to the ins and outs of his business – but he's earned that by being the very very best for a very very long time.

Al Davis and the Raiders. I did not know how much work he did in the 70s and 80s toward diversifying the NFL. First Latin-American head coach hire, first Black head coach hire, first female hiring in the GM spot.... I didn't know these things. And learning them, while I am pleased to do so – not least because I now suddenly have a different frame of reference through which to view the franchise and its players – also even more deeply unsettles me about this whole Jon Gruden situation.

The Raiders didn't deserve this.

If any franchise didn't deserve this, it's the franchise that set the standard for non-white/male inclusion.

But I now have questions about Mark Davis, Al's son. (Christ. Trying to read about this guy to make sure I know wtf I'm talking about is really difficult when I keep calling him Mike! Like, who is this Falcons running back I'm not trying to read about right now? Golly, I'm so dumb.)

What the fuck kind of answer to what's going on is, “I have no comment. Ask the NFL. They have all the answers”? Like, I know I'm not the only person who's upset about this. And I promise I'm not manufacturing outrage – this isn't my team, and I'm not that upset.

But, seriously – what kind of answer is that?

Evidently the news broke on the anniversary of Al's death. That means something. And Mark is in serious financial trouble. Rumors already are swirling that all of this was a hit job on Gruden to oust him from his spot for whatever of the 10 million Mark – not Mike – could recoup. That doesn't make sense.

Not with Mark trying to just let the racism slide.

Friends help one another, but Mark isn't acting like someone who is sideswiped and needs a personal day to sort of his feelings about his friend and coaching idol. He's acting like someone with something to hide who's in deep shit.

And that's really all I have to say about that.

Moving on

Week 6 Game Power Rankings

Before we get started, I want to take a moment and appreciate this slate of games. When I'm organizing these rankings, I use an exclamation point system to identify which of the games I want to watch, with more exclamation points meaning I'm more interested in the game. Pretty simple stuff. I'm not a groundbreaker by any means, in note-taking. However, I take note of it because in a 14-game weekend, I have exclamations beside 8 of the games.

That's pretty good shit.

If I'm telling the tale of how I arranged these teams, it's a tale of two halves – and each was as difficult to organize as the other.

The bottom half of the week is all contests I actually do want to watch, just between either badly mismatched teams or just plain bad teams. The only reason the Dolphins aren't in the #14 spot is because I'm going to make the effort to wake up on time and watch the game from the pregame to the postgame. So it would be disingenuous if it were last.

#14 Los Angeles Rams (4-1) @ New York Giants (1-4)

This game jumps right off the schedule to me. But maybe not because it's interesting.

The Rams are 4-1 and we talk about them like they're 2-3. I personally think of them as limping through 5 weeks, and here they sit at 4-1, with impressive wins against the Seahawks and the Buccaneers. Losing to Kyler Murray and the Cardinals the way they did seems to have really soured the whole football world against this team. But Stafford's finger is fine, he says, and the coaching staff is still the same coaching staff. The Rams are going to be fine.

The Giants, however, cannot say the same. At 1-4, they feel like they're about 0-8 right now. Their quarterback trying to kill himself on the field and every weapon on their roster being on the injury report don't help, do they? I have no confidence in this Giants team. Not only do I have no confidence in their cohesiveness as a unit, nor the job Joe Judge is doing in that regard – I don't trust their ability not to fall to undisciplined pieces at the end of a game. I was going to link Nick Shook's NFL.com article about Jayron Kearse apparently punching Evan Engram in the face after last week's game – but they seem to have taken the article down. Which makes me wonder whether I shouldn't think Even Engram is full of shit.

What do either of those paragraphs have to do with this game?

Nothing. The Rams are going to run away with this one in the first half.

There's no way Los Angeles are satisfied with the way they've played. And if they plan to compete with the Cardinals for the division, they can't let a lesser opponent hang around. The Giants... The Giants shouldn't play Daniel Jones this week. Just let him sit, let him rest. Let Mike Glennon play. Call it a present to Gregg Rosenthal, Football Gods - from me.

Is there really anything more to say? One of these teams is very good, one of them has the potential to be very bad.

Rams win 38 – 10.

#13 Miami Dolphins (1-4) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (0-5) In London

Whoa! Joey Lawrence is in London. I mean Trevor. (Am I really doing that by accident at his point?) I make fun of him because I kind of like him. He consistently makes me laugh. You know how people say, “That dude seems like a guy I'd enjoy a beer with?” Yeah. I'd enjoy a bong with Joey Lawrence. His coach, on the other hand? This team is fucked. And while I'm talking about dudes whose careers are off to a disappointing start, Laviska Shenault Jr.? Miami's in trouble. That dude's a tight end with the moves of a punt returner – and Xavien Howard's still dealing with his groin.

Sorry, JAX fans.

We'll find out how that conversation with Stephen Ross went on Monday, at least. There's a chance one of these coaches doesn't make the return flight. I don't think it's Flores. But Ross has done it before. The problem with firing your coach mid-season is who is going to replace him? I haven't made it to the Raiders game, so I shouldn't ask this, but do we really think that the Raiders' Interim HC is going to “turn things around” and get the season back on track? I guess you'll find out what I think of that later in this piece.

Do I think the Dolphins get-right against the Jags?

No.

Joey Lawrence is too good.

Do I think the offense puts up points? Yes.

Jags win, 29 -28.

#12 Cincinnati Bengals (3-2) @ Detroit Lions (0-5)

I take no joy in writing the words I'm about to write. But Dan Campbell might be crying at the podium again come 16:00 Eastern, Sunday. His team might finally get the doors blown off em. But maybe not. Maybe Burrow's throat injury is significant enough that any amount of noise the home crowd can generate will be enough to sputter the offense a few times. That's what they'll need this weekend if he wants his first win.

Campbell's going to have to be careful how he reacts to that win, by the way.

Joey Franchise. Your team shows up in these rankings a lot. Don't worry. This ranking isn't reflective of you or my interest in your team – it's the Lions.

The Bengals have let bad teams hang around for too long this season. Lou Anaroumo is coaching the Hell out of the defense. But Zac Taylor has got to stop playing for field goals and miracle shots to Chase. Believe me, I say that later, too. I feel like it's the only real critique I have of this Bengals team. They should be undefeated, they should have lost every game they've played. That's an indicator your coach is playing too close to the vest. You have a good team, Zac – coach em like you believe it.

Cus right now it looks like you think your team stinks.

Cincinnati wins this one running away. The Lions are going to start finding it harder and harder to show up to work with a full tank of emotional gas after this one. 35 – 3.

#11 Houston Texans (1-4) @ Indianapolis Colts (1-4)

Spoiler alert: I predict the Colts are getting back in this Division race later in this Power Rankings. So I'm gonna jump right to it, Colts win this one. (Score below.)

The Texans' Davis Mill impressed everybody last weekend against the Patriots. And you can't take that out on the Patriots' defense. They got it done to take the win home at the end, but, damn – Mills was looking like a professional quarterback back there. Hitting dudes while floating out of the pocket to his right all afternoon. I look for him to build on that performance against the Colts.

Their defense is playing so much better than what the dude from Indianapolis I heard before the Miami game thought when he said they were “bad”. This is a decent defense. Not decent enough to finish off the Ravens. But Carson Wentz went to sleep in the second half. I don't care about how they split up the carries between their running backs. Whether it's Jonathan Taylor “Thomas” or Nyheim Hines or Marlon Mack, they all played well on Monday.

I expect that to be the plan for dealing with the Texans: running it a ton. You don't need to keep Davis Mills off the field, exactly, but you do want to pressure him with the clock by playing like no matter what the score is you don't think he can beat you.

I think he might, though.

Colts win by the narrowest of margins: a missed field goal to end regulation. 17-16.

#10 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-1) @ Philadelphia Eagles (2-3)

10 feels like exactly the right spot for this game. In the top-ten, but not in the top 50%. This has the feeling of a total toss-up for me. A toss-up that could be 24 – 0 going into halftime if I predict the Eagles to win it. Chris Wesseling used to say to never bet against Tom Brady. Ever. But I don't know.

I don't want to talk about the Buccaneers. (You know why.) But I do want to talk about the Eagles a little bit. I haven't really given them much space in these pages this season. The Panthers are maybe lucky that game didn't get out of hand early. The Eagles made some critical mistakes, one taking 4 points off the board. They're still a young team, but of the first- or second-year quarterbacks with coaches with fewer than four seasons under their belts – that's only, like, three or four – I think the Eagles have to be feeling the best about their future.

Jalen Hurts needs to get better on third down. That's what I see. The team is 15^th in the League at 40.32% through the season. (Damn, that might be the most sports-writer thing I've ever written. I looked up a stat and everything.) I'm going to write a piece about third downs and how I think coaches are using their early downs wrong later. So I'll just get out of this game and on with the rest of the Rankings.

Buccs win, but it's closer than I think it's going to be. 32 – 28.

#9 Kansas City (2-3) @ Washington Football Team (2-3)

Some of these games seed themselves. To my eye, there are two 2-3 contests this week. And I have them in the #9 and #7 spots. Feels about right. Maybe I have them in the wrong order, but I'm not much interested in this game.

The Football Team have no chance.

Well, they have one chance: Taylor Heinicke scores more than 30 points again.

That guy cannot be in shootouts every week. I mean, they're fun and I like watching him. But where the fuck is Ron Rivera's defense?

Do you really want to read me saying some cliché like the Chiefs are licking their wounds, but they aren't dead yet? Cus they aren't. They're gonna blow this Washington defense apart for damn near 50 points. Washington is averaging allowing 31 points to their opponent. So I don't see that being much of an overstatement.

Young and Sweaty, you disappoint me. Until you guys win a game yourselves, I might just not have to talk about you anymore. I know I look at that Under Armor commercial Chase Young recorded the way Baker Mayfield's haters watch his commercials – that's for sure.

Chiefs win, 50 – 31.

#8 Minnesota Vikings (2-3) @ Carolina Panthers (3-2)

Is Mike Zimmer on the hot seat? Should he be? I'll have to write about what I think of specialist head coaches another day to evaluate what I think on that. (Look for that Tuesday?) What do close losses really say about a team? Again, this isn't the place to talk about it, but I've watched the Dolphins go .500 with six 7-point-or-fewer losses for twelve years. (That's not a real stat. But I bet it's not all that wrong.) And the Browns going 4-12 with same. It didn't save any of their coaches or quarterbacks after three seasons of more of the usual. So what I'm really asking is, are the Vikings gonna Viking this game? They gonna fuck around and keep it close until the last minutes, where a devastating turnover or missed kick sends the Vikings home in shame again?

Who is this Carolina Panthers team? It seems that Christian McCaffrey (and Dalvin Cook, for what it's worth) are game-time decisions. Who are the Panthers with McCaffrey? Who are they without him? I didn't think they'd lose both games he wasn't on the field. But I didn't think DJ Moore would disappear and Robby Anderson would remain invisible. Darnold's gotta put more air under that interception in the first half. He had time, he saw the right read – he's just got to get that ball over the corner where DJ Moore can get up after it but also get down in bounds with the crashing safety.

I see a lot of Dolphins fans trying to shit on Darnold. I see a lot of NFL fans trying to shit on Darnold. But I still haven't seen anything I don't like. What I see is maybe the youngest quarterback to ever be drafted and start for an NFL team trying to figure out the game. It takes time. I'm watching Joe Brady with squinted eyes.

So what happens when these two teams whose offenses and defenses faltered from what they have been and should be clash? Is this going to be 7 – 10?

I have to actually call it. I like Darnold more than I like Cousins, so I'm going Panthers to the tune of 17 – 16.

#7 Seattle Seahawks (2-3) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (2-3) Sunday Night

Yonder aforementioned 2-3 contest. Winner of this game is back to .500 and alive in their division. The other is looking like the season might already be over.

Does either of these teams trust their quarterback?

Now, that's just a crazy question after last week, isn't it? Geno Smith looked like he was going to orchestrate an uncontested comeback; and Roethlisberger's receivers remembered to catch the ball. The real question should be why Ju-Ju Smith-Schuster is so bad at football.

I am more interested in this game than those previous, though. And almost entirely for Geno and Roethlisberger's recievers. I think the teams are a wash, otherwise. And I think the Steelers steal this one and their three losses look like anomalies for the rest of the season. The Seahawks, though... Colin Cowherd will be wondering on Monday whether Pete Carroll should remain the head coach, and Rich Eisen will be defending his Hall of Fame status. I stopped listening to what Skip and Shannon had to say a while ago. I could write a whole blog: Stupid Shit I heard Skip and Shannon Say Today.

Would you read it?

Seahawks lose 27 - 20.

#6 Green Bay Packers (4-1) @ Chicago Bears (3-2)

Is my memory faulty, or is Justin Fields really 3-2? That's what it looks like. He closed out Cincy, and he's only won since he got his ass kicked in Cleveland. The hyper-extended knee is a problem to look out for. I've been saying this since the first time I saw him on the field: he's got to watch the way he lets his legs get out from under him. He's been rolled up, rolled up, twisted, and now bent back on himself. This isn't the NCAA anymore, Fields. These dues are just as athletic and strong as you are. Get down, please.

The Packers are making it look too easy to win right now. Let me go back and rewatch the Bengals last week. (Man, they're getting a ton of love in this piece.) Man, that was such a close game. The Packers could be, maybe should be 3-2. Matt LeFleur has to start coaching his offense like he has one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game running it. I think he thinks he's still got Jared Goff. (Who I'm still not feeling great about coming at so hard, yesterday. But what's been done has been done.) Playing for field goals when a touchdown wins it against a team that can score from anywhere on the field is how you go 12-5 with Aaron Rodgers.

I just made myself laugh.

Any other coach I'm saying this about – just about any other – and we're talking 9 wins. But Aaron Rodgers's floor feels like 10 wins no matter who his coach and surrounding talent are. And, yeah. He's fallen below 11 wins four times in his career, by my count: 2008, 2010, 2016, and 2013, when he broke his collarbone in the middle of the season.

Do not be surprised if this game plays out like the GB/CIN game – or like any of CHI's Justin Fields starts: These teams are going to go back and forth in what looks like is shaping up to be a defensive contest – then the quarterbacks are gonna go nuts in the second half. Green Bay has to get the run game going – because I trust Chicago to lean heavily on David Montgomery.

Let's put this game in overtime, really make the plus-middle games on this Ranking start out hot.

Green Bay wins on a Mason Crosby 56-yard field goat as Overtime expires to keep them easily atop the division. 38-35. Justin Fields continues getting better.

#5 Buffalo Bills (4-1) @ Tennessee Titans (5-2) Monday Night

Hm. Sunday and Monday Nights are letting us down this week. Only one of them cracked the top-five, and this only barely (because it's the Bills and Derrick Henry, they can't fall that far).

The Bills get the most effusive praise from me of any team. Do I need to do a paragraph here about how good they look? They have the best offense and defense as far as points scored and allowed. Keep that up and you're in the rarest of all companies. I know the '72 Dolphins achieved it. There was another team recently, probably the '08 Patriots. But I don't remember, and I'm not invested enough to go look.

If the Titans show up with wide receivers this week, this probably jumps to my #1 in the Rewatch Rankings. This should be an absolute slugfest. And it's in Tennessee – so Tannehill's woes in Buffalo may not catch up with the Titans. (I was going to hyperlink that, but I couldn't find a good site. Tannehill is 5-7 against Buffalo, and 5-2 when he's in his home. I don't think he's ever won in Buffalo.) (Someone buy me a subscription to one of these sports news agrigate sites? Using free resources for this stuff is a fuckin nightmare.) (sorry for that.)

I may not root for a pair of quarterbacks more than I do Tannehill and Allen. I wish this were a game I could say is going to be a shootout that highlights their individual skillsets and that we should look forward to the rematch in January. I don't think that's actually going to happen. I have a feeling that Josh Allen is going to do what he's done since Week 2 and ruin Mike Vrabel's defense. And I just don't know if Tannehill's line is good enough to slow down the Bills' suddenly-mightly pass rush. I feel like the Bills are going to run away with this one and Tennessee is going to get itself mired in an ugly division fight with the Colts.

I can't take the underdog pick today. Maybe by Sunday afternoon I'll change my feelings and root for the Titans. You can count on that, actually. And you can count on me being in a bad mood Tuesday, after the Bills win 27- 23.

#4 Dallas Cowboys (4-1) @ New England Patriots (2-3)

Am I the only person who has feelings about Mac Jones doing every other quarterback's touchdown celebration? He did Mahomes' arm swing as he walks toward his scoring receiver thing on the Henry TD. I don't know that I don't like it. In fact, it kind of gives me the impression that this is a dude who has played a lot of Madden. And his doughy body makes me like him a little more. Just a football nerd. What a guy.

Dak, on the other hand, is not a dude who is playing a lot of Madden.

Do the Patriots legitimately have a chance, here? The Transitive Property of Football says no way in Hell. The Cowboys have beaten up on too many teams, and the Patriots have only stolen two wins. And really, it's impossible for me to predict that the Patriots' defense is going to show up to play against a loaded Cowboys offense when they got showed up so bad by Houston. But maybe the Patriots are just a regular team again – a regular team with a legendary head coach. It really is like 2001 all over again.

The Cowboys are not a regular team. The Cowboys are star-studded and don't have anyone listed on their injury report with a negative status for Sunday. This feels like a 50 – 0 blowout, but Belichick doesn't get his ass kicked that bad.

Cowboys win 31 – 29. I think Mac does manage to keep it close – just maybe in Gargbage Time.

#3 Los Vegas Raiders (3-2) @ Denver Broncos (3-2)

This one decides which of these teams gets to look up at the Chargers and which gets to look up at the other's butt. Will that be the case for the rest of the season? I guess what I'm really asking is whether the Chiefs will stay at the bottom, and if you've read this whole thing you know I think the Chiefs aren't going to do anything but win the Division. Or do you? Did I say that?

Doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about the Chiefs.

The Raiders are in a tough spot. Interim coach, a nuclear bomb of grief and mistrust is dropped on the whole organization— It's gonna be rough for them to suit up, Sunday. But they did it last weekend. So they've gotten through the hardest part. Do they show up and play for their coach, who is an acknowledged “Gruden Guy”? I don't know. I want to believe they will. But the Saints bit me in the ass Week 2, when I thought coaches and negative emotions took a backseat to being the best you can be at work.

Look, I can't be the only person who works when he's depressed so he doesn't wallow in it.

The Broncos are a team I can't get a feel for on any level. Do they have a good defense? Can the offense score points? I don't know. I do know that I'm a little less upset about Miami not targeting Javonte Williams in the Draft – not that the Broncos seem all that intent on making him a superstar.

I'm sorry, Brandon Perna. You're annoying when the Broncos win.

Raiders win, 28 – 27 in an amazing emotional come behind that starts with a defensive turnover in the third quarter. Carr leads like we haven't seen since the Del Rio days, and the Raiders look like they're going to make noise again moving forward. The Broncos, however, are in free-fall. The fans are going berserk, and Vic Fangio is officially on the Hot Seat.

#2 Los Angeles Superchargers (4-1) @ Baltimore Ravens (4-1)

Los Angelees Super Chargers – Los Angelees Super Chargers – Los Angeles Super Chargers!

Brandon Staley is not why, nor is Justin Herbert, but— I think the Chargers might be my new favorite team to watch in the NFL. Honestly? It's Austin Ekeler and Mike Williams and the defense. I wish I could say the same about Patrick Surtain II, because his father was my #2 favorite corner of all-time, but Asante Samuel Jr is fun as hell to watch. Derwin James seems back to form.... This Chargers team is fun. And they have two of my favorite personalities in the League in Herbert and Staley.

The Ravens.

God damn I enjoy watching Lamar Jackson play football.

This game feels like it's going to be a total slugfest. Can the Ravens come out and Jackson maybe not be scattershot? Can the Ravens get the run game really working again? I like Ty'Son Williams a great deal, and I did not see nearly enough attempts to get him going in the first half. That said, Latavious Murray proved why he's no longer a Raider or a Saint with that ugly drop. He's supposed to be a change of pace/third down back, but has hands of wood.

How do I really think this one is going to go? I keep running the simulation over and over in my mind, and again I don't know if the Ravens defense is good enough. I feel like this game might turn into Buffalo/Kansas City.

In a contest between two of my favorite AFC teams, I have to go with the one that hasn't broken my heart repeatedly and never had Ray Lewis.

Chargers win big in Baltimore, deflating the Ravens hopes at staying long atop the division. 42 – 19.

#1 Arizona Cardinals (5-0) @ Cleveland Brown (4-1)

16:00 EST showing up in a big spot this weekend. All three of the top-3 are at 16:00. That actually kinda sucks. I can only consume two of these at a time – and if my recall of the GB/CIN tilt is any indicator, I can't even do that poorly.

Do I talk about the team I like better first? Or do I talk about the team I've already talked about this week and get them over with?

The Cardinals are a really fuckin good team. Even with Maxx Williams out for the season (oof), this team just has too many weapons to defend. It's up to Darrell Williams and Demetrius Harris to step up between the hashes for Murray. He's going to need to attack the middle of the Browns defense on short and intermediate routes, getting the ball out quick, if he's going to survive the Browns pass rush – especially if the shoulder actually is going to affect his play. I say it about all these good teams with good quarterbacks, but Cliff Kingsbury is going to have to find a way to make his running game effective.

Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah (JOK for short – I learned that yesterday) is setup to have a field day today. Maybe even a national coming-out party. Maybe that wasn't the right idiom to use there. I didn't mention Baker yesterday when I was saying nothing about undersized quarterbacks. Is it because I don't think of him as an undersized quarterback? Not so much. It's because he tries to play the game from the pocket. He's more Brees than he is Wilson. And frankly I just forgot him.

Forget is the correct word. He disappears in big moments for this team. The Browns feel like Bradley Chubb's team to me. Mayfield has to change that his weekend. He can't have another underwhelming performance against one of his contemporaries – that is, the young qbs who are taking the League by storm, as they say. Namely Kyler Murray, the undersized quarterback from the next Draft class.

I want the Browns to take this one. Their fanbase deserve it. And I don't like undefeated teams. But I'm expecting this one to go like Cards/Bills last year – the Hail Murray magic has yet to make itself known this season; I think it does on Sunday.

Cards take it in the final seconds, 44-42.

Woo! I imagine the gif of the overly excited, cheering baby, here. I finished before 5 pm. #proudofmyself.

Now I get to start over and work on organizing all 32 teams.

That might get finished during the game, tonight and posted early tomorrow.

Btw— Have I complained about how tedious these are to format? I really feel for the people behind the scenes of the big publications. But, hey! They are all going to be two games easier from here til bye weeks are over. So that's fun.

Thanks for making it this far. I've enjoyed talking at you. Hope your weekend is awesome!